


Lost and Found

by gomushroom



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Bondage, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 21:01:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9460292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gomushroom/pseuds/gomushroom
Summary: A love story told in reverse. Before the sunset ending, there were compromises, silly dates, hot sex, lame pick up lines, and instant attraction.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this in 2014 and have visited this too many times to count, tweaking and rewriting to no avail. In a way, I am throwing the towel to part with this universe simply because I know further revisions will only bury these words in my WIP longer. I love this universe so much and for that very reason I’m not proud about the overabundant time-markers and random pauses or jumpy fade-outs. I also usually try to not have a paring exclusive universe. Yet, in this special case, I can only beg for pardon. 
> 
> This is an SJ story centred on their established relationship negotiation. It could be read from the first chapter to the last (ending to beginning) or the last chapter to the first (beginning to end). Each chapter comprises of vignettes of their day. Sometimes love story is not always about the ending, it may be about the beginning.
> 
> And, Sho, H!B!D! ♥!

Jun sets aside his grocery plastics on his kitchen counter and takes the time to take off his winter coat leisurely. He goes straight to the bathroom, throwing his uniform to the washing machine rather unceremoniously, and finally washes his face clean. It has been a long day, with him running back and forth to the headquarters due to a monthly round-up meeting, and he has been dying for a hot shower. 

Which will be the next thing on his list, right after he fixes himself something to eat. He goes back to the kitchen and grocery plastics. He restocks his beer shelves and put the perishable right on its places. With now a restocked fridge, he would have no difficulty in having Sho staying over the next weekend. They haven’t been spending time together for a while, and Sho has just returned from Indonesia the other day and is now wrapping things up—mostly trying to tie up loose end so they could, finally, have that long weekend together. 

It is an easy choice at the end, that Jun’s place is more preferable that Sho’s. Not that the place is deep in center Tokyo, Sho doesn’t seem to be comfortable on spending the time in his own flat. And Jun doesn’t actually want to spend more than one night outside the comfort of his apartment. So they made an arrangement and so far it’s working. 

Jun is in the middle of stirring the small portion of miso soup; it’s quite simple and lately he has been cooking miso soup way too often. He partly blames Sho for this—the man has a liking for miso soup and it has been affecting his sense of home comfort, or more precisely, it has been giving him a renewed sense of respect for miso soup.

What has been very simple for Jun means the world to Sho—and that fact has been something that he ponders all this time. The man could really latched into him, fast and tight, and then leaving Jun to have his own space as much as he wanted. Perhaps he should start asking question to himself, to Sho, to both of them. But things are running quite smoothly and he doesn’t feel like disturbing their pace. He doesn’t want to take things for granted, and to have Sho to be on the same page with him right now is more than enough.

The rice cooker beeps and Jun checks the alarm next to him. Three more minutes till the soup is ready. He lets the soup to shimmer and goes for the bowls when he hears his phone beeping. 

A glance and an eye roll later, Jun picks the phone up. “Hi,” he greets the caller.

Sho’s tired voice and sigh greets him right back. “Please tell me you’re home already.”

Jun chuckles at the plea he could hear in Sho’s voice. Ever since they get together, Sho has been slowly going more playful and not as stiff as he was when they first meet. Gone is the polite and formal Sho, it is all not-perfect Sho, even if he’s still ogle at Sho with his fancy perfect suits at times. “Yes, I’m home.”

“I envy you. I envy you terribly.”

“What happened?” Jun opens the lid of the pan and gives it a firm stir to see if the soup is ready. It goes as planned and he’s all satisfied with it. Now how to set a serving for himself while trying to talk to Sho, or possibly something that involves him trying to calm the man down? “Where are you by the way? Didn’t you say you’re going to have an early afternoon today?”

“Shit happened. And I’m still at the office.”

“Oh, okay.” Jun doesn't say more than that. He has his share of office woe and Sho has been kind enough to lend an ear as he ranted about his horrible shift arrangement and then some. “Are you still going to be there for a while.”

“I need to wait for an important call, and I couldn’t switched it to my cellphone so here I am sitting here in the nearly empty office and waiting. I don’t think this phone is going to pull through though. They are delaying the call in purpose and I have no other choice but to wait up.”

“And you’re trying to kill time by calling me?”

“Well, that, and also, I miss you. I cannot wait till Friday night even if it’s only two days away, and, have I mentioned, I miss you?”

“Mhmm.” Jun hums as he set his soup bowl by the stove, with a ladle ready on his hand. “I miss you, too.”

“That doesn’t sound convincing at all. That, on the contrary, sounds distracted,” Sho says. Jun could almost see the pout Sho must wear at the moment. But the next question is delivered in completely different tone. “Am I interrupting something? I am, aren’t I?”

“You don’t interrupt anything,” Jun says. He manages to pour just a good amount of soup into the bowl. He closes the pan and sets his bowl on the counter. He now has finished the hardest part, and is able to give Sho his full attention. “I was going to have dinner. It’s almost ready when you rang but now I’m all yours.”

“Dinner,” Sho says with a audible groan. “Let’s not talk about dinner. I actually had one, but it was terrible and all I wanted is hot food and your company but I cannot do anything but sitting here and waiting. It’s completely exasperating.”

“What were you having?”

“Some bento they bought me from the shop across the street. Perhaps some konbini, not that I have any objection on konbini food, I love them, but it was cold when it got here and I don’t have time to heat them so I just ate them cold and now it left a bad after taste in my mouth.”

“That’s probably just you thinking about it being bad and not enjoying your food. It happens sometimes.”

“You’re just saying that to comfort me.”

“Is it working then?”

“A bit,” Sho says. “Now what are you having?”

“It’s not going to comfort you, you know. It might disturb you more than your dinner.”

“Don’t tell me you’re having hot food.”

Jun doesn’t answer but he blows the steam off his bowl, with a dramatic huff of breath.

“You are.” Sho sounds pained and, what Jun has learned to know, holds his laughter. “You so are.”

“You’re having hot food, which probably is soup, since you just got home and it won’t be too much hassle.”

“Mhmm.”

Sho’s tone goes a notch higher. “Don’t tell me you’re having soup? Miso soup?” 

“Sho-san.”

“You are! You so are.”

“I need to remind you that you brought this upon yourself. I haven’t said anything.”

“But you are having miso soup, on this cold night, and at the warmth of your own home. I don’t care if I brought this misery upon myself, I just want to curl up and die here.”

“You’re being overly dramatic, and it’s barely 10 PM. You’re not even drunk yet.”

“I don’t want to get drunk. I just want to go home, preferably your home, so I can dump all this on you and get comfort.”

“You are not coming over at this of night. You know I have work early tomorrow.”

“I know. I was just saying. It’s not that I’m going to jump into a taxi and tell the driver your address, and then knocked your door with a loud thump, begging you to let me in and feed me with your delicious soup,” Sho rambles on. “Although it sounds tempting as hell.”

“Are you sure your office is deserted, because I don’t think you want anyone to catch you like this, whinny at the end of the day.”

“I don’t even care anymore at this point. I want my steaming miso soup, and I want it now.”

“Cheap and easy.”

“You know I am cheap and easy. And that’s one of the reason I’m calling you.” Sho is shifting something on the other end of the line, causing rustles of papers. “Oh, even if I’m going to moan my misery along the line, don’t let me stop you from having your food.”

“Now you’re being considerate,” Jun says. “I’ve been scooping rice into my mouth for the last minute.”

“That’s good. As much as I dying to complain, I certainly don’t want you to end up losing your hot food too. It’s enough that I’m already so unlucky tonight.”

“I can still listen while chewing.” Jun hums his answer and then picks up his bowl to start on his soup. “I’m all ears.”

‘You are still going to float to sleep if I’m telling you about my work, even with the miso soup, oh my god, I cannot believe I’m here in the office while you are just a taxi ride away with hot food and warm body.”

Jun chuckles at Sho’s complaint and he knows Sho’s not going to stop or leave responsibility to for just a soup. It’s okay—let the man have his chance. “I’ll have miso soup for you. Saturday morning.”

“Really? Oh, that’s the best thing I’ve heard today and yes, I’ll take you up on that. I probably will do anything if you are making me miso soup, let alone in Saturday morning. It’d be perfect. Why is tomorrow is not Saturday morning?”

A slurp and another scoop of rice later, Jun goes to the fridge to get a glass of ice tea. “Because tomorrow is still Thursday.”

“Yeah. And I have early meeting too,” Sho says with a heavy sigh. “I really can’t wait.”

“I bet you are already make a detailed plan, aren’t you?”

“I sure do.”

Jun laughs, and this time he doesn’t hide the sound of him slurping the last drops of his soup. “Oh, that was good.”

“I know it’s good. I can hear it. I can hear how good it was. How good you are.”

“Are you sure you’re not drunk?”

“I cannot be drunk. I’m at work.”

“You’ve been rambling like one, you know. Don’t blame me for keep asking.”

“I never blame you.”

“Not yet,” Jun says, light and easy. “You soon will.”

“Well, now while we’re still in honeymoon phase, perhaps we could enjoy it while it lasts.”

“That’s what you said right now,” Jun says, now going back and forth to sink to put away his dirty dishes. “We’re so going to argue about this soon enough.”

“Still, I’m enjoying every moment while the bubble is still wrapping us in giddiness,” Sho says with a chuckle. “Oh. You’ve finished your dinner?”

“Yeah,” Jun answers. “I’m going to need to hang up soon. I need to shower and hit the bed. Are you still going to be there for another hour or so?”

“I guess so. I haven’t even received the notification email. They promised to send me one to give me a cue that the meeting will be commencing soon. I guess, I’m going to send one of the remaining staff, if there’s anyone around, for a super late supper delivery.”

“I can call you back when I’m all curled up in bed, but I don’t think I’d have any energy left.”

“Yeah, I probably bothered you enough tonight.”

Jun laughs at Sho’s low-voiced confession. “You don’t have to put it like that. I am glad you called. It’s like having someone to talk to over dinner. It’s nice.”

“I’m glad then. About you. Not about work. That I’m not glad about at all.”

“You’re talking weird already, I think you need to take a break. Have another coffee, although I’m sure you already downed a gallon of it.”

“I’m probably going to give it two hours. And then I don’t give any more fuck, I’m going home.”  
Jun offers. “Let me call you when I am about to go to bed then.”

“There’s no need. I’ve bothered you enough. It was great to be able to hear your voice, and you should get some rest, you have a morning shift tomorrow.”

“Just a quick shower and then I can get back to you.”

“No need, really,” Sho says with a firm tone. “You should get that rest. There’s no need for both of us to lose sleep for my work.”

“Okay.” Jun can already feel fatigue hitting him hard, and all he wants is to stand under a hot water spray and then curled under his blanket. “I need to hang up so I can set my alarm then.”

Sho laughs on the other line, and to Jun he sounds just a little bit lighter, and that’s probably all he could do for tonight. “I’m being inconsiderate to bother you when you are all tired.”

“You were a nuisance.”

Sho laughs and this time it’s heartfelt and Jun knows that he’s done what he could. Sho’s going to be alright now, he probably won’t be going home in two hours—insisting on waiting till the work is done, and he’ll do this with a lighter heart. “I can’t without you.”

“Sweet talker.”

“I’ll let you go then,” Sho says. “Thank you for listening to my whatever that was. Have a nice dream, Jun.”

“I will,” Jun says. He’s already walking toward his bedroom, getting ready for the shower. “I can’t wait till weekend.”

“Me too.”

They stay silent together for a while. Jun lets his movement make more sound than necessary, telling Sho that he’s opening his closet, letting out a fresh shirt and pajama pants. On the other line, he could imagine Sho leaning against his office chair, intently listening. 

“I’m hanging up.”

“Thank you, Jun,” Sho says, before continuing in a much lower voice.

“You’re very welcome,” Jun says. “Let me know if you got home, okay.”

“I’ll text you when I got home. And I’ll talk to you later.”

“You do that.”

“I love—“

“—you, too,” Jun completes the sentence for them both and hangs up. With a sigh, Jun takes a moment to close his eyes, as he is sitting by his bed, and smiles.

*

“The sunset is not as pretty as the sunrise, though,” Jun says. 

“I’ve been told that you can’t have both,” Sho replies.

“But it’s really nice here.”

“I know. And Jun,” Sho says, turning to see Jun is at easy leaning against the back of the lazy chair only on his shorts, “Thank you for the weekend.”

Huge smile spread on Jun’s face and Sho knows that he doesn’t need to ask to find out how Jun fares the weekend. They have spent the weekend welcoming the blossoming cherry blossom. Too bad it’s already Sunday afternoon, but these fleeting moments are the ones that Sho cherish the most. 

Jun says, dreamily. “I have great time.”

Sho curls on his side as he continues to watch Jun closing his eyes. Fully rested might not be the exact words he would use to describe Jun right now, but more like content and happy. Sho knows that he probably wearing the same smug grin as Jun and that is enough for him. 

Jun’s left hand then reaches to touch Sho’s right cheek, and Sho leans against the touch, holding the hand between his cheek and the chair, before closing his eyes and exhaling a long content sigh.

“You make me happy, Sho-san.”

Jun’s voice is so soft and Sho feels his chest tighten with a sudden urge to cry with joy or silently weeping in happiness. Words swim in his head, forming love declaration of some sort, but at the end he is reduced into a glob of happiness and could only manage a soft satisfied hum.

Jun chuckles softly and then keeps his hand on Sho’s cheeks; thumbs are softly rubbing the now-has-disappeared eye bag on Sho’s face.

They keep their silence among them, as the afternoon turns into dusk. Gone was the intention of watching sunset together as Sho is happily closing his eyes, focusing solely on Jun’s thumb on his face, cherishing the precious moment. Jun starts humming a song, something familiar but he couldn’t—or won’t need—place. 

The sound of traffic and the afternoon world is slowly getting far and faraway in his mind. In this time and world, with Jun beside him, Sho finds peace and anchor. 

They are be holding into something precious, something fleeting and Sho has learned that living the moment is as important as making big important decision. Jun is here, willing and wanting, to be with him—one of the best things that happened in his life. 

There will be time for dinner, for late night talk, for work the next day, for more and more exploration of their relationship, but at this very moment, Sho doesn’t need anything else. 

*


	2. Chapter 2

Sho could only sigh deeply when his eyes catches Jun walking toward him. What’s the matter with his man? 

He was under the impression that they have agreed to call this a secret meeting—and now to have the man heading to their spot in the park, still in uniform even if it’s under his light coat. Nothing will be so secret anymore—everyone will see that Sho is going to have a chat with a police officer on the nearby park. But, as the man gets closer, Jun’s face nearly makes him swallow his mental rant. The man looks exhausted and if Sho’s not mistaken, sad. So there goes their plan of secret lunch meeting and now it’s time to switch gear into a much more important matter at hand.

“Sho-san, I’m truly sorry,” is the first thing Jun says when he stops in front of Sho. A little bit too close for Sho’s comfort, since with Jun right in front of him, he must look up to see the man. “So sorry, but something came up.”

Sho nods and reaches to greet Jun with a rub in his sleeve. “It’s okay. You look tired. What’s up? Why don’t you sit down then?”

Jun practically heaves himself down on the concrete park bench. “I’m terrible sorry.”

“It’s okay, completely okay,” Sho says. He turns to get the bottled water he brought and offers it to Jun. “You want some water? It’s all I have though.”

“Thank you,” Jun says, taking the bottle before taking big gulps after he turns the cap open. “Something came up this morning. We had a rush at the station. A bunch of old ladies was travelling down south to Shizuoka for a retreat. And guess who are leaving things behind on a 8.05 train to Yokohama?”

“Said bunch of old ladies?”

Jun laughs at that. “Yeah. The station has been very busy contacting us, and now they wanted us to go as far to Shinagawa to take care of the problem. Which then we settled and they have all their possession back. I went straight from Shinagawa to here, since it’s my lunch time anyway, but about the plan—“

“It’s completely okay, really,” Sho says. “I must admit I was a bit disappointed when I saw you strolling here with your uniform. I was expecting a business suit salary man Jun. But I wouldn’t take down uniform offer. I like it all the same. Or to be exact, I like you in uniform.”

“That’s just some cheap shot to make me feel better about our appointment.”

“Well, does it work? Because if it does then everything is alright with us.”

“It does,” Jun says with a smile. “I hope you don’t mind having your lunch time with a police officer.”

“On the contrary, I couldn't feel more secure with you on my side.”

Jun punches Sho’s arm teasingly. “Sweet talker.”

“But is it okay with you? I mean we usually date after you change clothes to street clothes. Would it pose a problem for you?”

“What? No. We’re only having lunch, right? Not going to a love hotel to rub things down. Right?”

Sho stares at Jun with disbelief. “I can’t believe you just say that.”

“What? The having lunch,” Jun says, his eyes sparkling as he watches Sho’s cheek grow red.

“The love hotel one,” Sho whispered. “You are giving me ideas, especially with your uniform fitting your form like a second skin. You don’t know how gorgeous you are in that uniform, and I am not intending to tell you this now because then we both are gone but I wanted to check how your ass move in that pants.”

“You checked my ass before.”

“No. I didn’t. You were always behind that stupid counter. I couldn't see anything beside your broad shoulder and your crisp necktie and you lips, and your hair, and your lips, your wet and inviting lips.”

Jun swallows hard as Sho’s voice growing lower and lower, along with more and more filthy remarks. “What time do you have to go back to your office?”

“I have the whole afternoon off. I was thinking of going to the dentist after I had lunch with you.”

“How important is your dental hygiene right at this moment?”

“Wait, are you saying?” Sho says, eyes squinting in doubt. “What time do you have to go back to the office?”

Jun glances at his wristwatch. It’s a quarter to one, and he was on field duty for the rest of the day. “I can spare two hours, even two and a half, but I have to clock out from the station no later than 4.30.”

“Oh fuck.”

“You’re swearing. Nice,” Jun says with a satisfied smirk. It looks like it’s going to be a good afternoon. “What do you say?”

“Jun, you’re not making things easy for me.”

“I do intend to make things hard for you,” Jun says, fully aware with the double meaning. “And plus, Sho-san, I brought my handcuff with me today. I’m on duty after all.”

“Two and a half hour you say?”

“Let’s make it, two hour of you cuffed to the bed post.”

“Oh fuck,” Sho says with his eyes close. “I’m fucking hard right now, and I know a love hotel just a taxi ride from here.”

“Lead the way.”

“Officer, you are going to be the death of me.”

“Oh, I sure am.”

Sho stands and wraps himself in his coat—covering his tight pants, Jun could only assume—before walking ahead toward the end of the park. They are not far from Shinjuku and there area going to be a lot of available love hotel, Sho only need to choose. 

A taxi is already waiting for them by the time Jun turns to get to the corner. 

“Come on,” Sho says, leading and entering the taxi.

Jun slides in, only half listening as Sho gives the instruction to the driver. “I need to make a short phone call.”

Sho nods and leans against the seat, eyes looking outside as the taxi begin swerving toward their destination. 

What is this, Sho muses. He’s not a young adult all too excited to play hooky by going to the love hotel in on broad daylight. But Jun, in his uniform, so sturdy and reliable, and it makes his mouth water even before he knows it. Who’s to know? It begins to shape back to the secret meeting promises. Sho knows that this is a precious opportunity, and he plans to milk everything—he’s going to make Jun sore as hell and walk funny, he’s going to hear never ending complaint from his dentist receptionist for calling off appointment so suddenly—it’s going to be worth every second of it, Sho knows, and he’s not even sorry for it.

He hears Jun talking to the other hand with soft voice. It seems it’s about arrangement of who’s in charge of the evening shift and the scheduled meeting of one division Jun is going to attend tomorrow. Sho’s gaze goes down to Jun’s crotch. While he’s still sporting a hard-on and his pants feels tight and uncomfortable—damn Jun could be very suggestive with his words if he wants to—Sho fixes his gaze on Jun’s bulging crotch. The man doesn’t have a coat to cover his erection and it gives Sho ideas.

He slides his hands on Jun’s tight, up to near his crotch. 

“As I said, tomorrow it’s going to—“ Jun stops, as his eyes finds Sho’s hand high on his thigh, teasing, and the man staring at him openly with lust. Jun curses internally and turns his threatening gaze to Sho. “No, everything’s okay. I just need to go now. If there is another change in details, would you pass the info to me? I’ll be back around 4.30.”

Sho’s right hand presses on the seam of Jun’s pants and Jun coughs to cover his gasp. “I’m fine, really. I have to go. Thank you for this, Nakamura.” 

He cuts the call before his hands cover Sho’s hand and presses even harder, making Sho feeling the outline of his erection. “How about _not_ having your hands to do this?”

Sho’s breath hitches—they are in a taxi, and the driver has been polite enough to not pay attention of what’s happening in the backseat, but then again, nothing has been happening on the backseat except for Sho’s bold moves and Jun now reprimanding him like he’s been caught for something he’s done—and lower his gaze. “I’m sorry,” he softly whispers, making sure that only Jun could hear his voice, “I’ll use my mouth, Sir.”

Jun’s hand freezes a moment before he throws his head to the back of the seat in silent grunt and holding Sho’s hand still on this growing crotch, rubbing slowly and steady, and keeping the hand there as a reminder of their growing desire.

Sho wants nothing but to get to the hotel as soon as they can, but it takes them another 5 minutes before they reach the place. Actually Sho was smart enough to instruct the driver to stop an alley before the place, so they need to walk down a bit to get there. 

Jun finally releases Sho’s hand, because the man needs to pay for the fare—and he slides off the taxi first. While waiting for Sho to take the receipt, he takes of few pins from his uniform and put them safely on their pocket. 

“This way,” Sho says, leading the way once again.

Jun follows him, and while walking he then puts away his badge and few of his other pins. He keeps his belt, but now he looks like someone who’s cosplaying as a cop. Not bad—at least this is a secret meeting they’ve been talking about. 

Sho looks around and sees Jun buttoning his chest pocket. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just setting aside few things that could lead me to back as real officer, just in case.”

“Okay,” Sho says, gesturing a non-descript building. “This is it.”

The reception is empty and Jun is kind of thankful that the lady behind the counter didn’t even look up as Sho hands her the cash. Sho takes the key and goes to the elevator quickly, and Jun follows. 

It’s not something that he would call excitement, but Jun must admit that his heart is pounding in his chest. This is something else, this is him and Sho doing something else. He has mentioned the use of cuff, and he doesn’t know how far would Sho go. He hopes quite far because, even if he’s risking being so sore that walking would hurt, he is actually looking forward to be fucked senseless by Sho today.

They reach a door, and Sho turns to put the key and opens it. The room is unexpectedly normal for a love hotel—Jun has been worried that they’d be getting an LED room with a heart-shaped bed, but it is like the usual business hotel. 

Sho goes inside the room first, staying around at the entryway, taking his shoes off slowly while he waits for Jun to crowd him and finally wraps his hands around him. Sho moans as Jun grabs him from behind, shoving him facing the wall and makes Sho holds on, his cheek against cold wall, and already breathless. 

”Do you want this?” Jun asks, using his body to press against Sho, while giving a few kisses on Sho’s nape, before trailing to the ear. “Or better. Tell me what you want this afternoon.”

“Fuck, Jun. I want you.”

“You’ll have me. What else do you want?”

Sho doesn't answer, he only wiggles to try to let him go so he could face Jun and kiss him, but Jun doesn’t budge this time. 

“What do you want?”

“I want to fuck you—“

“I know that. What else? Come on, we don’t have all day. The sooner you talk the sooner you’ll have me.”

“Hands on headboard, you riding me.”

Jun begins to slide his hand to the front of Sho’s pants and starts to undo the belt. “What else? This afternoon is yours. You can ask whatever you want, and then I think of granting it for you.”

Sho is about to answer when Jun’s deft hand finds his tip of his leaking cock and he moans against the wall.

“What else, Sho-san?”

“Ring me. I want to beg for it, while you’re coming leisurely. Few times.”

Jun’s breath is heavy on Sho’s ear. “That’s all?”

“Yes. Please, Jun. Let me—“

“Let you what?” Jun begins to move his hand on Sho’s cock while the other is trying to get rid the pants all together. 

“Let me suck you good.”

Sho’s pants, along with his boxers, went to the floor. The man is standing only with his shirt and wrinkled coat. Jun still has the thought of hanging their clothes but now there’s pressing matter. “Let get you to bed then.”

He finally lets Sho go from his grip and lead the man to the bed, still with his hand loosely on Sho’s cock. He wants to kiss Sho right now but turning the man will also ruin his uniform, so they could wait. 

“Don’t move,” Jun says. “Turn over and let me undress you.”

Sho turns without a fuss, and Jun is pleasantly surprised to see the heavy-lidded with lust eyes and wet red lips. He moves on working to open the shirt without fuss, and then leaves Sho a little while to put all clothes on the sofa across the room. 

He turns and sees Sho has been watching him intently but not making any move. 

“Down on the center of the bed. Hands beside you, no touching until I say so,” Jun says. 

Sho follows the order, crawling awkwardly, with his cock now fully erect, before lying down on the bed. He cranes his head a little bit to see Jun across the room and waits. 

“I’m going to take my clothes off. You can touch yourself but you don’t come on your own hands. You are only allowed to come inside of me. So make it good. This is also the last time this afternoon you are able to use your hands. So, again, make it real good.”

Jun doesn’t say another word but then proceed to unbutton his top uniform steadily. Sho goes to put his hand, circling his cock, but more so that he doesn’t come too early—Jun wets his lips as he goes for his pants. He has make sure that Sho could see his whole body as he strips, and he’s taking his time discarding his clothes. Sho could use the time to jerk himself off. That’d get his cock nice and fit to the tight ring Sho wanted. 

Jun sets his boxer on the sofa and now returns his attention to Sho, who is now going a bit faster in stroking himself and beginning to pant. “You don’t come, remember,” Jun says. 

Sho nods, and slows his movement, but then he stops entirely when he focuses his attention on Jun’s striding toward the bed, naked with a hand behind his back. 

“I have what you want,” Jun says, as he crawls onto the bed, showing the dangling handcuffs. “Put your hands off your cock. Time’s up.”

Sho closes his eyes as he slowly pulls his hands up toward his head—the feeling is intoxicating, he wasn’t feeling as confident as when Jun asked him earlier, but now it’s probably something that he couldn't get away of.

That’s when Jun finally leans in. Sho feels Jun’s hands rubbing his arm, slowly, and encouraging him as he settles into his position. He opens his eyes and finds Jun looming at him with warm eyes. “Sho-san.” And then Jun kisses him, finally, wet and deep. His hands are still up there above his head, and Jun’s hand pining him into the mattress but he’s kissed and nothing else matters for a moment. 

Jun shifts, and Sho feels the line of his body, all lithe and even more enticing that the one he sees earlier in the police uniform. He moans into Jun’s mouth and rocks his hips forward, gaining friction. 

“I’m just going to ask one last time,” Jun says, softly, when he leans up. “You’re okay with this?”

Sho nods, simply because he doesn’t trust his voice. He wants this, he has wanted this for a while, and now he’s going to get what he wants, so close from what he wants, yet so far. 

“Okay, I’m going to cuff you right now,” Jun says, just a moment before Sho hears a clink and a cold metal goes around his left wrist. A moment later, Jun pulls him up a bit and another clink completes the process. 

“Looking good,” Jun says, sultry and hoarse right now. “Let me find that ring and we can get you set up.”

Sho tests the cuffs a little bit, but he’s getting bite of cold metal and feels satisfied with it. Now he’s at Jun’s mercy and he’s going to get his reward—seems like a good start. 

Jun comes back after rummaging the shelves with a decent size ring. They played with this first—Sho has a liking of delaying his own orgasm for Jun and not that Jun is complaining, it’s always good to have a good game in bed. 

Jun dives for another deep kiss and have Sho distracted as his hand sneaks up to slip the ring just into Sho’s cock. Sho moans in pain and pleasure as Jun finally fits the ring onto the base and groans harder as Jun gives few perfunctory strokes. “Done. Good?”

Sho nods, feeling his blocked circulation and Jun’s soft hands stroking him leisurely. Just as fast as it is on, he wants it off, but he also wants it on, and the feeling of frustration is just the right combination of heady feelings. 

“You look so good like this,” Jun says, hands now stroking up Sho’s thighs and knees before stopping entirely to stand beside the bed. “I’m going to go get a shower, ready myself, and then we can start.”

Sho pants with needs and nods. 

“I’ll be quick,” Jun says. Unable to stop himself, Jun leans back to Sho for another heated kiss, his hand sneak up to give another stroke and twist. “Stay ready.”

Jun finally leaves him to go to the bathroom and Sho is left with hot and bothered mind, aching erect cock, and hurting wrist. He tries to lift his hips to the air for friction, but finally he settles on trying to lie quietly. He hears the water running from the bathroom, and soon Jun is going to come out, all ready for him. Shivers of anticipation run through his body and Sho closes his eyes and tries to slowly count his sanity up to one hundred; Jun should have been finished showering by then.

*

Sho feels cold sweat, or was it nervousness, running down his back. He has his groin raised up in the air, seeking for the friction that he would be not getting. Jun is taking his sweet time in the bathroom—although he knows that Jun is probably working himself loose and ready for him—and the thought alone send him to hopelessly grind his hips onto the air again. 

He tries to calm himself, as he hears the sound of water stops running inside the bathroom. Jun is going to come out in a minute, or two, or if he’s feeling sadistic, he’s going to take his time to the max, driving them both crazy. Not that he needs another stimulation, Sho is already going crazy, from anticipation, from the strain of his cock, from the thought of him skipping out work and fucking Jun in a random afternoon.

“There, fuck, right there. You need to get me off, with your cock only. I want to come just because your cock, pounding me relentlessly and thoroughly.”

Sho pants his breath. Everything is so tight. Jun’s clenching him, tight and proper. There’s this feeling on his chest that he couldn't describe and he could only surrender to the beat that Jun dictates. His vision is filled with only Jun and his shining with sweat face, huffing short breaths and slowly going up and down his cock. It feels marvelous and Sho doesn’t want the torture pleasure to ever end.

“Is this what you want?” 

“Yes,” Sho says, barely audible as Jun leans down to hold himself just above Sho and keeping his hips moving. “Please.”

“You know what is better? That I’m not going to touch my cock. That nothing touch me but you—and since you cannot touch me, you need to fuck me so hard. You need to make me come with your hard cock. And fuck me good.” Jun leans back and his rhythm alters when he moans his pleasure. He finally gets Sho aligned with his prostate and once he finds the angle, Jun keeps it at it, growing faster in rhythm and erratic in pace. 

And when Jun tightens around Sho’s cock, giving Sho another breathless sensation, Sho has nothing else to say but a hearty “Fuck.”

“Yes,” Jun pants, trying to goad Sho even more when all he’s doing is giving himself a leverage to move faster and harder. “Yes, fuck me, Sho. You want it. Come on, come on.” 

Sho pushes through, giving all he got as he tries his best to meet Jun’s hips, pressing closer, seeking for the best and deepest angle—he feels like he’s possessing Jun while on the reality he is the one who is cuffed to the headboard. But then, he could only feel Jun, only allow to have Jun and nothing else. All his senses are surrounded by the pull of Jun’s hand on his hair, the tightness of Jun on his cock, the press of Jun’s cock in his stomach, and there’s no where else to go but higher and faster to the bliss end.

Which didn’t seem to be coming, ever, for the ring prevents him from having anything else but constant heat and wetness of Jun’s mouth.

*

“Do you actually need all those books?”

Sho takes a minute to actually answer Jun’s question—along with putting all the books he just purchased into his large backpack, lining them up neatly according to their sizes. “Well, not immediately but I spy several of the new books I’ve been wanting to buy and then there are several others from the old print that I haven’t had. And I don’t get the time to go to the bookstore easily these days, so I’m, you can say, getting all of them now while I can.”

“It’s going to take a lot of time to read them all.”

“I won’t have the time to get to all of them immediately but I like to have them ready on the shelves back home so I can easily grab them within reach whenever I feel like reading.”

“I bet you let them all stacked high without even touching them.”

“There’s a possibility of that happening of course, I’m not saying I’d read them all by, say, the end of the year, but I will. Eventually.”

Jun shrugs his understanding—he isn’t one who has the money to purchase all the books, a habit that has been developing. Thus he regards books as something that’s precious—money was the problem but even now when he has the money to buy his favorite book, he restrains himself from going on a spree, like what Sho just did, and is a picky book-buyer.

“You on the other hand only get those two books.”

“Yeah,” Jun says. “I have been wanting to read this one since forever, but they have just released its paperback version last month, so I’m buying it today. And then this one, I don’t know the reason with this one. I have only heard about the author once, and then read a short review, but the summary is interesting and I thought I am just going to give it a try.”

“Don’t you have a shelves of books at your place? I couldn’t imagine you without one. I have pegged you as someone who does a lot of reading, too much even for your own good.”

“Well, my shelves is there, and filled with books, but I have read them all. Several I read few times, and then others I stacked back when I have finished them.”

“Interesting,” Sho comments. “I couldn't do that. I probably would try, so hard, but at the end, sometimes there isn’t just enough time to read them all.”

“Are you the kind of those who usually abandons a book mid-read?”

“Well, if it doesn’t remain to be interesting, I would have stopped and then moved to another book. A book needs to keep up with the excitement of reading, and when I’m not getting it from my reading, I might as well move on.”

“I see.”

“Is this also not the same with you?”

“I’d try to finish the book. Even if it’s not interesting in the middle, I like to have faith on it and try till the very end. I do get disappointed some times, but then again the book has tried, I have tried hard, and then it’s settled.”

“That’s amazing.”

“Thank you. You are reading newspaper, I do find that amazing.”

“What? That’s just newspaper, nothing but bunch of news from the day before.”

“Which is exactly why it is amazing. I don’t usually catch up with the factual writing and to see that you are doing in on daily basis is something that I can say I admire from you. Not many people doing it though, and yet there you are.”

“It’s just a habit dies hard.”

“Or so you say.”

“That’s a compliment. Take it, please.”

“Then I will.”

*


	3. Chapter 3

“Say, what happened to your umbrella?”

Sho frown distractedly, looking up from his tab and meeting Jun’s question. “Huh?”

“Your umbrella.” Jun scoots closer to Sho. Wine in his glass swirls dangerously near the tip of the glass. “You used to have an umbrella, and I remember that it was the main reason for all of this?”

Jun is pleasantly drunk and Sho is completely charmed by the slurs and the tipsy eyes the man next to him exhibiting. They’ve been drinking with no actual purposes after dinner—and midnight is still faraway, when they are just lounging on Sho’s comfy couch—celebrating Sho’s last day on his apartment. Most of the stuff has been either moved or stored in some storage rooms Sho has rented (or Jun has pointed this out during dinner, Sho probably dumped them shamelessly to his parents’ house).

“Yeah, I do. Or I did.”

“What happened to it?”

“To them. I usually have few umbrellas, the same kind, but for the same function,” Sho say, correcting Jun assumption. “They are around, but I don’t feel like bringing them out with me any more.”

“Why? Your fancy suit is ruined if you don’t have it on a rainy days.”

“I wonder why too,” Sho says. He now leans against the couch comfortably, with Jun warm and tipsy on his side. He kind of wishes that he still kept the coffee table—it’d be a good place for his feet right now, but it has gone to Jun’s place and home now—but there’s none and he ends up straightening his feet over the remaining carpet. “I still hate rain, but somehow I don’t feel like bothered any longer if I don’t have umbrella.”

Jun chuckles. “That’s such a stupid statement. I do think you’re gradually turning into old man. You want to know my take on the umbrella matter? You want?”

The petulant tone sets Sho’s laughter going. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“I think you are getting old, that’s a definite,” Jun slurs before taking another little sip of his wine and continuing in a soft and low voice. “But I also think that it is because of me.”

“Is that so?”

“That is so. You no longer need your umbrellas because now you have me. You no longer need them as an excuse for you to meet me up on the police counter, reporting missing umbrellas. I mean, who the heck in the city of Tokyo report a missing umbrella? We have three warehouses loaded with unclaimed umbrellas. No one reports them, and then there you are,” Jun says, turning with warm and dazed eyes toward Sho—it takes a lot of restrain for Sho not to frame that face and start to kiss the man senseless, but it is Jun’s time to slur, and Sho is going to let him finish what he’s trying to say. Jun continues. “You are really something, you know. Sho-san, you really are.”

Sho smiles, and this time he doesn’t hold back on trying to touch Jun. He runs his free hand on Jun’s arm, giving it a long stroke. “Have I told you that you are a marvelous drunk?”

“I think you have,” Jun says, grinning now. “You have said I’m a marvelous drunk. You’ve also said I’m gorgeous and pliant in bed. You’ve said I’m special and lovely. You’ve said you miss me when you’re gone. You’ve said I cooked the best spaghetti aglio e olio in the world even if I cannot stand to eat it myself. You’ve said everything, yet you are still able to say more on that.”

Sho feels a rush of flush running up his cheek. He wants nothing but to set his glass aside, having two free hands to touch Jun and letting the man goes on with his drunk rambling. Still, it was Jun’s moment and Sho would hate to interrupt.

“You are really something, Sho-san.”

“You’ve said that already.”

“I know.” Jun pouts comically before he gives Sho his wine glasses and wets his lips. “I am done with wine. Now, I want to have you.”

Sho laughs, nervously now, as he receives a still half-full wine glass. Damn that coffee table, it should be around here somewhere, but now he needs to shift to the end of the couch to make sure that he put the glasses on the floor, out of their reach. It won’t do them any good if they need to scrub the floor in the morning because of the wine. It’s better safe than sorry, Sho tells himself. 

When he turns back to Jun’s direction, the man is waiting, sitting on his feet with his hands above his knees. 

“Come here.”

Sho surges forward slowly, keeping his hands low so they could stroke Jun’s thighs and meet the man in the middle of the couch. “Jun, you are so drunk and utterly lovely.”

“You’d said.” Jun beams at Sho, brilliantly as his lips stop just before meeting Sho’s. 

Their first kiss of the day tastes like wine, like Jun and everything else that matters. Sho lets himself be kissed, letting Jun to peck with sweet nips and light bite as he wraps his arm loosely on Jun’s waist and settling his right foot on the floor for purchase. One kiss and then another, Jun begins to leans toward Sho, pressing close and letting all his weight down on Sho, forcing him to lie down to the couch in a big blop and thump.

“Oh.”

“Yes. Oh. I’m going to let you fuck me here in the couch tonight. I’m going to do just that.”

Sho sighs at the weight of Jun now pressing him against the couch—this one is a winner and Sho knows he’s going to spend so much extra money to hire another trip of mover, so that he could have this couch on Jun’s place and then repeat performance. And now with hands free to roam, Jun is touching Sho’s chest, going down slowly to his waist, riding up shirt and Sho is gone. 

“Yes.”

“One clothing article at a time,” Jun says, nudging Sho to lean comfortably against the small pillows gathered on one end of the couch. “Shirt off, Sho-san,”

“Yes.”

The quick respond draws a chuckle from Jun. “Are you going to say ‘yes’ on anything I ask tonight?”

“Yes.”

Jun laughs outright at that, knowing that Sho is probably saying the truth on that. He does want to do things to Sho, or making Sho do things to him, and that’s a heady thought right there. “I’m going to take that as a fuck yes. Now, touch me, Touch me everywhere.”

The sultry encouragement only spurs Sho even more. He’s tugging Jun’s belt on his jeans, and trying to get into his pants with less finesse. The empty room soon is filled with Sho’s moans and Jun’s heady sighs. 

Jun manages to strip Sho down to his boxer in under a minute, flinging the clothes across the room with abandon. Sho is having a tougher luck, as Jun is making his life harder by not fully focused on stripping himself as much as he is on Sho. 

“You want hands or mouth?”

“I want you.”

“You’ll get me. Now, hands or mouth?”

“Mouth. Please.”

*

By the time Jun arrives at the plaza, Sho’s already there. Unlike him the man doesn’t need to change his clothes—leaving him still with his tailored suit, and workbag.

The summer afternoon rush has already started but people are still around Shinjuku. Most of the people with no rush of going home—just like Sho and Jun—opt to stay around, getting their dinner with colleagues, going around to catch a breather after a long day at work and delaying going back home because of the train jam. It’s part of the reason they are meeting in the plaza. It has been a while since Jun could get an off on night duty and he’s been expecting today since Sho also was trying to finish his work before 6 PM. Rarity for them both, and it needs to be cherished.

“Hi,” Jun says. 

Sho looks up from his phone, and Jun sees the delight on the man’s face. From what has been a frown when he was focused on the phone, the eyes went dull to brilliant in a matter of second. Then the smile blooms and Jun is left with no choice other than to smile back. 

“You look good,” Sho says, apparently already giving Jun a look over. “I should’ve made time to go home and go change. I feel like I’ve been in this suits for days.”

“You work in a fully air-conditioned controlled room. Your suit is still crisp and all,” Jun says, taking the seat next to Sho.

“You don’t know where they sent me during lunch hour, no? Who knows I could be in Saitama’s soccer field all day in this goddamn suit, and managed to get back here for our date.”

Jun frowns. “You’ve been to Saitama during lunch hour?”

“No,” Sho says, rolling his eyes. “But, who knows?”

“You’re just being difficult.”

“Well, you haven’t been around all these days, so I’m probably more difficult that I used to be.”

“It’s only been a few weeks.”

“The government is working you too hard, I might file a complaint at this rate.”

Jun laughs, as he bumps his shoulder with Sho’s. Here they are in public, throwing hellos and light tease to each other; and suddenly the thought of missing Sho rushes back to his mind. And he says just that, in a low voice, “I miss you.”

Jun turns just in time for Sho to smile after his soft confession and in for a treat. He sees the struggle so apparent in Sho’s eyes, as the man retreats the half-reached hand. They’re in public after all but Sho wants to reach for him, and Jun finds himself wanting to reach back and they could just get lost in each other. 

“I miss you, too,” Sho says, “and it’s dangerous for you to let out such confession at this time and place.”

“I know,” Jun says, smiling at the returned feeling, “I just need to say it now. Not that I cannot say it again, but the timing just feels right and I want to say that before the moment is gone and then we could do something else.”

“You are too much sometimes.”

“Says the man who texted me three times a day.”

“You should’ve said you mind when I asked you if that was okay with you.”

“I’m not saying I mind. Those texts were hilarious. But you did texted me three times a day.”

“Says the man who didn’t reply to any of my texts.”

“But then call you at night, racking my phone bills by lengthy late night calls.”

“I could’ve called you back if you mind.”

“Again I’m not saying I mind, really, it’s just… Aren’t we going too much sometimes?”

Sho sighs at the question. “Well, you and I feel we both are going too much, right?”

“Something like that,” Jun says. “You’re making it sound difficult.”

“I do think as long as we’re okay with it, then why not do it,” Sho says. “I am actually okay with it. I’m too much in so many things after all. You can even call me too-much man and I could probably see the point in that and not going mad at you.”

“Too-much man? You’re too silly for your own good, sometimes.” Jun frowns again. “Or Too-silly man?”

Sho laughs at that and adds, “Well, perhaps that’s me.”

Jun only rolls his eyes now.

“And if you still interested, this too-silly man is starving and would like to soon go to the soba-shop he had made reservation at so we can have early dinner.”

“Fine by me,” Jun says, “I missed lunch anyway.”

Sho stands up abruptly. “You missed lunch?”

“Well, yes. There was a meeting minute I need to finish and the next thing I know it’s already near afternoon and I needed to catch up with the dossier so I can actually clock off at 5—what?”

“How did you miss lunch and still function?”

“Well, concentration could be hard, but I’m pushing it. It’s not something I did everyday though. Once in a while during busy period. Or sometimes I snacked on some biscuits. What? Don’t tell me you’re that healthy freak who overlooked the fact that some of us are busy and truly do not have time for proper lunch?”

Sho is amused. “I am certainly not. I do consider lunch important—because then I get hungry and I am known to act terribly when I’m hungry and not getting my food. But I understand that. I was just concerned.”

“Appreciated, really. I just thought you were one of those—“

“—freaks?”

“I don’t mean to say that, really.”

“But you did.”

“And I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to. I’m fine. It’s just it’s fascinating for you to go running on after one point. And going pretty intense on it.”

“I just. Let’s say, bad experience. And that discussion could be continued later, way later. Preferably after we have dinner.”

“Then we should go.”

“Yeah,” Jun says, now taking a look around on their surrounding. People are still crowding the plaza, where couples meet, friends gather after work before they are going to their next destination. “Where we’re going anyway? I hope it’s near enough?”

“Walking distance,” Sho says. He starts to walk around to the north corner of the plaza. “Let’s go then. It’s just few blocks from here, up north.”

Jun then follows, walking next to Sho. “What we’re having anyway? You didn’t say anything in your mails.”

“You said you want soba, don’t you?”

“Oh, yes,” Jun says. “You found one near here? I didn’t know there’s a soba shop up north.”

“It’s a place I frequent actually,” Sho says, as they turn for the crowded intersection and wait for the light to turn green. “I hope it lives up to your expectation.”

“I eat any kind of soba actually. Not truly choosy at that, but it has been a long day. A nice meal would be nice.”

“I’d recommend the shop in a heart beat, so I hope it’s good enough for you.”

“If you say so,” Jun says. 

They walk along with the crowds, going up north in a steady pace. After the first block the people have turned toward the station entrance and the street is thinner—but then they meet other people going up north as they go around another station exit. 

They meet rows of shops and several fancy cafés along the way. Most of the patrons are workers from the nearby office, still in their work suit and their fancy coats—and now it’s Jun who’s feeling a little bit under dress since he’s only going for a simple street clothes of plaid shirt and good jeans. “I’ve never really been to this area,” Jun says. “It’s quite nice.”

“I used to go here back when I first work in the area. They have nice food, not many but there are some of the shops that are good,” Sho says, his focus is still fully on the street, as if he was afraid that they are going to miss a turn.

“Then, I should try going up here more often then.” 

Sho nods distractedly at Jun’s statement before gesturing them to turn at the next corner, into a small alleyway. And then the sound of heavy traffic that has been with them disappear and soon it’s just them in an narrow space, going forward.

Jun frowns but follows Sho nonetheless. “We’re going through here? This small alleyway?”

“A short cut,” Sho says. “I hope I am not entirely wrong on this. I wasn’t kidding when I said it was quite some time ago, the last time I went here.”

Jun doesn’t say anything but he is now following Sho with a worry. They went to a narrow alley way, line up with tall walls of what Jun could only assume someone’s premises. They walk ahead toward a small intersection and Sho stops just in front of him. 

“Turn left,” Sho says, a little bit unsure. “I think.”

Jun doesn’t comment but he then tries to keep up with Sho’s increasing pace. It’s not completely dark yet and there are some lights from the corner—yet they are turning deeper into what Jun thinks as maze of brick walls. It’s quite hard to believe that they are in downtown Shinjuku at this point, Jun begins to wonder, and Sho doesn’t seem to be totally confident of where they are going.

“Are you sure this goes to where you want to go?” Jun couldn’t help to ask. 

“I was sure. But not anymore,” Sho says, “but it’s definitely this way. I guess.”

“Which is it? Definitely or you guess?”

“Just a little bit from here. I’m sure. But it doesn’t look like how it was. It’s not actually something—“ Sho stops explaining when they come into a much wider alley way. “Ah.”

“Ah? Which ‘ah’ is this? The good kind or the bad one?”

“It’s this way,” Sho only answers. “I guess.”

“Sho-san,” Jun says, exasperatedly. “You soon are going to admit that we are lost, and then that’s it.”

“We’re not lost,” Sho says, going straight ahead toward the end of the alley, in hope of finding a familiar sight, but so far there’s nothing but more tall walls. “Yet.”

Jun huffs in irritation but he doesn’t have any other choice at the moment but to follow Sho to the end of the maze—or whatever it is they are in. 

“Ah.”

“There goes that ‘ah’. Which one is it?”

“Wait,” Sho says, as he walks faster. “I think we’re in the right track.”

“You think?”

Sho nods and then they make a turn to another shallow alley. 

Jun almost groans in frustration but it’s either going forward or backward. And he doesn’t trust himself to be able to come back to the main street without going lost. “Really?”

“Really.”

“You better be good or I’m going to get so pissed off of you and take a the first taxi home instead.”

Sho turns to give him a grimace but then goes back concentrating in following the way. “I sure hope it doesn’t go that way.”

They arrive at a small intersection, with a forking way—three branches. 

“Shit.”

“We are lost, aren’t we?” 

“Kind of,” Sho says with a sad smile.

“What kind of half assed answer is that?” Jun says, grabbing Sho’s arm to stop him from moving on to one side of the road, taking another chance. “Let’s think about this for a while, will you?”

“I know it might seems dubious, but I think I know where we’re going.”

“You think?” Jun says. “Why don’t you admit that we’re lost and then we could try to find a way out of here. How about GPS?”

Jun begins to rummage his bag to get his phone out, but Sho stops him. 

“Where’s the challenge in that?”

“It’s not a challenge to begin with, Sho-san. We’re supposed to go to a restaurant, one that you know somewhere around here. Why don’t we just go plug our location and then find a way from here?”

“I’ll find the way, I know I will. You just have to trust me.”

“This is utterly ridiculous, you don’t even.” 

“Aren’t this adventure-like or something like that.”

“There’s nothing adventurous when I’m starving. I can kill you and eat you instead if it turns out that we’re not able to get out of here alive. Or I might faint in hunger if we don’t get out of here soon. Who’s to know?”

Unexpectedly, Sho finds Jun’s rant interesting. “You want to eat me?”

“Not in that sense, you gutter brain!” Jun rolls his eyes, shoving Sho lightly to make his point.. “That was just a—forget it. Just get us to the place under 15 minutes, you did say it’s only 15 minutes walk, right? Or I’d get GPS direction and save us all from hunger and my wrath.” 

“I will. Under 15 minutes. Another challenge. Yes.”

“If I am not that nice I would have call you on being delirious and weird.”

Sho smiles at that. “But you are nice.”

“Not the point! Lead the way. Come on, I need food soon.”

“Right on!”

For the next minutes, Jun silently follows Sho as they navigate themselves through small alley after alley. When they finally could hear the traffic on the end of one last alley, Sho walks faster and Jun jogs his way behind him.

“Yay!” Sho shouts when they arrive at a main street where people are littering the street and taxis could be seen. 

“Yay!” Jun joins the excitement. 

Few people turn their heads to look at the pair, frowning over the loud cheer out of the blue. 

“We did it,” Sho says, taking Jun’s hand for a handshake. “We conquer the alleys!”

“You did it, Sho-san,” Jun says. “It was a close call, but you did it.”

“I couldn’t done it without you,” Sho says. 

“You are weird and sappy and now we’re congratulating each other in the middle of the road for something so stupid and trivial.”

“But I was being stupid and trivial with you. So that doesn’t matter. It’s the time that I spent with you—“

“You’re forgetting that I’m famished and you’re letting yourself going on with your sweet words is not going to help the situation.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Sorry,” Sho says, “the place is just round the corner now. Let’s go get you food.”

*


	4. Chapter 4

“I can help, you know,” Sho says. “You just need to be very specific in what I should be doing.”

Jun turns to face him, with a smile on his face. “You said you want me to cook for you, and watch. Why don’t you just sit back on with your wine and wait up? I need the space anyway.”

“You could have more space if it was my kitchen.”

“Your kitchen is a shame to all human kind. You have nothing at home and I don’t even trust your oven.”

Sho’s eyes brighten at the thought, completely ignoring Jun’s playful jabs. “Are you going to have something from the oven tonight? You’re baking something? Or roasting, what I really hope to be, chicken?”

“You’re getting that chicken next time,” Jun rolls his eyes and his spatula. “I thought you agreed on Italian. That’s all I can pull off in such a short notice.”

Sho had called him in late afternoon, knowing that Jun would be off shifts in an hour. Sho had a cancelled meeting, and decided that he would take the whole afternoon off. The early summer weather is warm and pleasant. They had agreed to have an overnight date the next day, so Jun has planned to do the grocery later. But with Sho’s change of plan, he does not have a choice but to hit the supermarket together with Sho before they went to Jun’s apartment. 

“Still, we spent more than an hour in the supermarket. I still have hope for a miracle.”

“The only miracle that’s going to happen tonight is the caramel ice cream. The rest of the feast is just simple stuff.”

“I can help, really. Do you need something to cut, like, lettuce or something?”

Jun laughs at the insistent offer. “No. You stay there, behind the counter where it’s safe for you and let me brave the stove.”

“Or washing vegetables. Those mini tomatoes look like they need attention.”

“No thanks. Really. Go grab something, check your email or something like that. Stay out of my kitchen.”

“And miss the show? Wouldn’t think of that. I’m going to stay here, talking all the way, and give you the space to cook.”

“I can do that. You just need to be the one who talked the most. I have my limit in concentrating.”

Sho sips his red wine thoughtfully. “Now, what would be a nice topic to start off?”

Jun snorts with his back on Sho, and continues to watch his red sauce as it shimmers on the pan; this is going to be a fun night.

*

One of Sho’s favorite things on earth is Jun, and the fact that Jun is perching right on top of his lap, pressing close to him while he’s trying to maintain composure as the other man is peppering his jaw with open-mouthed kiss is heavenly. 

He keeps his hands light on Jun’s waist, rubbing circles without kneading too hard, letting Jun do as he wishes and waits for his turn patiently. Warmth goes through his body, going slowly south, as he feels his cock is growing harder by the minute. He circles his arm around Jun’s waist, going through the tip of Jun’s shirt, tugging lightly and silently asking for permission to take things further. Jun hums into his skin, just below his ear with his hands now tangled on Sho’s hair, causing Sho to choke his next breath.

“Sho.”

And Sho wets his lips just before Jun’s lips coming back to cover his, nipping and biting playfully. “Mhm? I’m busy.”

Jun continues to kiss Sho leisurely, taking full advantage of him pressing close to the man with his weight, leaning completely on the body beneath him. And Sho gladly lets his control go, giving the decision to Jun—whatever the man wants, Sho is his for use tonight and that’s going to be all from him. He is perhaps even going to let Jun fuck him tonight, if it’s done right—that’s an immature thought though, he is going to let Jun arrange everything, and that’s a start. 

When Jun lets their kiss ends to take a breather, Sho could only hear the question faintly. “Bed?”

He hums his answer, since now Jun apparently wants to move to the bedroom, which seems so faraway now that they have been making their place in the couch comfortable. But Jun’s wish is his command at the moment and who is he to say no. 

“In a moment then,” Jun says, husky and breathy, “I’m not done with you yet here.”

Sho lets his hands travel up to the small of Jun’s back—he’s done tugging for now, and allows Jun to press even closer. He feels sweat and flush on his face, as Jun starts to use his tongue and teeth on his neck to get him moan deeper. If this is what necking is all about, Sho is a convert for life.

They are still fully dressed—Sho has regretted his choice of jeans tonight, as Jun is on his loose sweatpants and has the ease of moving on top of him; but on the other hand, it would be very easy to pull those sweatpants off and goes on with the scheduled fuck—and nothing else matters now but Jun and his ministration. 

“Jun!”

*

“How about another kiss?”

“How about let’s go to bed now?”

“You’re being mean just because I’m drunk,” Sho says with a pout. “I find it disconcerting.”

“I haven’t met anyone who started to use fancy words when they’re drunk before I met you. Very cute,” Jun says. He’s not far from being drunk himself, but so far it’s all pleasant buzz and warmth.

*

Whatever reflected in Sho’s face is nothing compared to the bile that comes out with what the man says next. “You’re never there.”

In disbelief, Jun loses his word for a moment. What the hell was the man trying to say? They didn’t get into fight because of nothing, or if nothing is important, it was completely Sho’s fault. Jun refuses to be the blamed party. “I’m not the one who’re going places every other week.”

Sho’s eyes flares a bit before he is reduced into pouts at the statement, knowing fully that Jun wouldn’t pull that card out if he weren’t cornered. “That was a low blow.”

“Yeah,” Jun says, shrugging. He has said it, not that he could take it back. He already said it, and he has hurt Sho jus by saying it. “Sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“You do have a point.” Sho says, his face fallen into a sulk. “Still, it hurts every time we bring that up.”

“I know,” Jun says. “That’s probably why I brought it up in the first place. Because I know it would hurt you, and by hurting you I was thinking that now that we’re even. Because I was hurt too, and here we are talking about this, when there’s something else we need to talk.”

Sho inches closer to the crook of Jun’s neck, breathing their closeness and the familiar warmth of home. “I’m sorry. This time, let me be the one who says sorry, because it is my fault and if it hurts you that much, then perhaps I deserve that low blow.”

“You deserve it, alright. But I shouldn’t let my anger gets by me.”

“What are we doing, Jun?”

“Hurting each other because we care too much?”

“That’s probably a good way to put it.”

“That’s all I could think about,” Jun says. “You can hurt me, you know.”

“As you can me.” 

“We are into this deep, and guess what, you probably are stuck with me.”

“Something that I wanted in the first place. I do. I probably will die trying if I haven’t had this chance. You are the one that I want.”

“You’re trying to be cheesy on me. That won’t work, at least not before the make up sex.”

Sho laughs. “You, and your filthy mouth.”

“Yours is filthier.”

“Well, we won’t know about any of it if we don’t conduct some sort of experiment.”

“Come here and give me a kiss, and then we can talk about it.”

Sho wraps his hands around Jun and then licks the man’s ear. “I think we’re done talking.”

“Yes.”

*

“I think I can shift my appointment tomorrow aside till Monday.”

“Really?”

“Well, it has been a long while since we have the same day off, I guess it is going to be so worth it.”

Jun casts a warm gaze to Sho, missing the man’s sparkle on the eyes, and smiles to himself indeed. They are really making this work, and he isn’t alone in this relationship; at least that’s a very nice thing to have at the moment. “Thank you.”

This time Sho turns, with mouth full of soba noodles and round cheeks blown up into a comical face. 

“No, do not say anything. You are going to get that food wasted,” Jun says with a warning tone. “And you shouldn’t eat so fast, you’ll choke yourself. I’m worry for you, for real.”

Sho nods, unclear if it’s about the confirming Jun’s chide or is doing an acknowledgement for the previous praise. 

“It’s not like we have some important and immediate appointment after this.”

Sho finally manages to swallow all his food, reaching for the glass of water and taking big gulps to clear his mouth. “But I was hungry. Am hungry.”

“That’s not a reason. You’re going to hurt yourself one day, eating like that,” Jun says. “We are not going anywhere, right? No one is timing your eating activity.”

“Am just starving. Now can I go back to eat? I’ll be take the speed down, a single notch.”

Jun doesn’t say anything else, but it has proven hopeless for him to come between Sho and food. He lets his focus go back to the food in front of him. It was a good soba set, one of the best so far, and he doesn’t want to waste this rare night of them going out for dinner together with a silly fight. 

In a moment, they both are sharing silence as Sho continues to shove large amount of noodles into his mouth with a steady fast pace, and Jun takes his time to enjoy the food, slurping leisurely and chewing with a feeling.

*

“I was on the last cart of the train this morning, and there’s this woman, she was trying to get by the queue. I remembered her face clearly because she was wearing such a heavy make up and an ugly yellow shirt and did I mention that she was trying to cut the queue. Almost everyone in my platform queue was irritated by the way she is behaving. She was such a rude woman.”

“And?” Sho prompts him.

“And just when I was able to forget about the morning incident. Believe me it wasn’t easy because I had to brew extra coffee and then just load off on a friend—she sauntered to my counter.”

“She did? The same woman?”

“I know, right? It was almost like a nightmare, like, why should I meet this horrible woman again. My office was just one of the million other places a person should visit. But there she was.”

“And?”

*

“What is it that you wanted to tell me then?”

Sho feels the words he has been forming on his head from the day before floating out of his head. 

Jun is sitting in front of him; they are finally alone in the confine of Jun’s warm apartment, sharing a hot cup of coffee at this hour. Jun’s hair still has the faint whiff of cherry blossom, since they’ve been out for _hanami_ since morning.

Perhaps it’s a good thing that they are both sober. Perhaps Jun has wanted them to be sober, for the reason of the talk they have been trying to do for the past week. And Sho is grateful for that. But then again Sho only needs to take his glance back to Jun and the words are back to his head, to the tip of his tongue, because the words are what matters now. 

They have done their share of chaste and experimental kisses. They have done the trial period of lunch dates, of dinner dates, of walking each other home at the end of the night, of sharing alcohol at night when the day ends. And now it’s time for words, because they have run out of excuses.

And if Jun doesn’t want to start this, then Sho does not mind at all to be the first to say them.

“Jun.” Sho slides his coffee cup aside, folds his arms on top of the kitchen counter and takes a leap of faith. “You’ve everything I’m not and you’re everything I want. That is the only thing that matters to me right now. I know that we are just trying this out, but I want to say that I’m willing to try this thing out and take it a little bit further. If you don’t mind that is.”

“Sho,” Jun replies as he does the same thing as Sho with his coffee cup. A flush rises up on his face and what Sho could identify as joy is reflected on the man’s eyes.

“So, I hope that’s okay with you. And no, I don’t need anything from you right now because as long as you allow me to have this with you, to have whatever this is called—I’m not putting a name to it—I’m grateful.”

Sho doesn’t say anything else. He has done what he wants to do, and to have Jun not cutting him in protest or anything like that has been a respond he has expected. Perhaps the man would have difficulty later when he proposes the next thing on his list, but at least he has already made an opening for himself. One step at a time, he tells himself. The air on them is not getting thicker though, it stays light and warm—and for that Sho’s grateful once again. 

“I would offer you another coffee but that would be deflecting your confession.”

“I’m not confessing, I was just—“

“Confessing. It was definitely a confession, Sho-san. Now, it’s my turn, you wait up and hear what I’m going to say,” Jun says with a sparkle in his eyes. 

Sho nods. His hands are itching to pick the coffee cup and have something he could touch or hold when he listens to what Jun has to say. The calmness he felt not few minutes ago is slowly draining out of him. Realization that Jun could easily dismiss his proposition—okay, confession, Jun got that right—and annul everything that has been going on sneaks up to his head. 

What if Jun doesn’t want this anymore? Whatever this is about. What if Jun wants nothing but ending this once and for all? What if it was him all along who has the thought of everything is running just fine? And Jun doesn’t think of the same thought, or thinking something else that’s even worse. 

What if Jun actually wants to punch him in the face right now and then just having nothing of him any more? 

What if he was mistaken all along and Jun doesn't want to—

“Stop that, will you?” Jun says softly. 

Sho looks up to realize that he has been frowning while staring at a spot on the counter table. “Huh?”

“I know that you want my answer and I’m going to give it to you right now. But don’t do that, don’t think ahead of yourself, or more importantly, don’t think ahead of me. Your frown does all the telling.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. Don’t apologize,” Jun says, this time his hand reaches to hold Sho’s sweaty hand. A fact that he hasn’t realize until Jun does so. “You always do that. I don’t like that—that’s a confession right back at you—I don’t like that you feel the need to apologize to me for something that you’ve done nothing wrong about.”

“Okay,” Sho says, swallowing the ‘I’m sorry’ that has been threatening to come out of his mouth. “I’m listening.”

Jun nods this time and takes a deep breath before he continues. “You are everything I want, too.”

Sho could only blinks—in his mind, this answer is something that he doesn’t actually expect. Thoughts about negativity forgotten, this is the sweetness of things happening just as you expected. 

“Wait till I’m done with this, okay,” Jun says, making sure that Sho will not interrupt what he has to say—Sho has made the effort and it’s only fair for the man if Jun does the same. “You are everything that I want right now. I know we haven’t been doing great in the time division, but I have great time with you. Even with our little fights and disagreement. I’m beginning to think that this could go on for a longer term.”

Sho swallows hard as he recognizes Jun’s words as something exactly as the ones he was planning to speak about the other day. 

“I am still reluctant to put a name on this because I believe we both don’t need the name. But then again, if I’m asking you to move in with me, perhaps we need to name this. Something simple, like partners, or relationship is cool with me—as long as you are cool with it, too. Then we could just do this as we have always done and take one step farther, together.”

“What?”

“I said, together.”

Sho shakes his head. “No. The one you said before that. Are you—? Are you asking me—? Am I having the chance to—?”

“Moving in with me?” Jun says without a halt of beat. “Yes. If you are going to put the name on what we have, then perhaps you would consider moving in with me?”

“I—.“ Sho chokes his words. “I didn’t think that—“

“Yes?”

“That you are going to be the one who is going to ask the question.”

“Does that mean you’re not okay with the idea?” Jun ask carefully. His face is masked with a hint of uncertainty. “I did say ‘if’. So if you’re against the idea, we can keep the idea as idea and deal with other thing.”

“No.”

Jun blinks at such a forceful ‘no’. “Fine.”

“No. I mean, no, I don’t want to keep that idea as idea,” Sho says hurriedly, trying to not giving another wrong impression. “I mean, let’s move in together. If your offer still goes. Because I’ve been preparing to ask you an important question, and now I am so bad at answering one.”

Jun’s grin fills his face. “So, yes?”

“Yes,” Sho says, his face mirroring Jun with a grin. “A million times yes.”

“That might be too much.”

“I don’t care. It still doesn’t count as enough for me. Jun, yes, please. Please let me move in with you. I’d be good and proper.”

Jun laughs at the promise. He knows Sho enough now to roll his eyes at the suggestion, because one thing that Sho is not when he’s at home is good and proper. “Don’t start on that, really. At least not now. I know I have to deal with your standard of being good and proper but let’s do that later. Way later.”

“And just when I think I’m having the upper hand—“

“—here I am crushing your hope and dream.”

*


	5. Chapter 5

“There are three small waterfalls and then there’s hanging garden. And if we’re lucky we can catch up lunch in the Takei corner and then head down so we can grab the famous _onigiri_ at Kaseo-san famous restaurant when we’re downhill,” Sho says with shining eyes. “You know that they are all practically Michelin restaurants; they must have great food and then some. You must know, Jun.”

Seeing Sho’s enthusiasm is a definitely treat but Jun has different plan altogether. This weekend was their first time-off together, a weekend off. They didn’t have this easily, they practically have carved time, work double shifts to get to this point and Jun just wanted to take things slow.

Meaning, there’s a spa reservation he had managed to sneak into their schedule. 

“I was thinking of spending tomorrow in a spa. They have a massage special package and it looks good.”

“But we’re here, here in Shizuoka. And we must—“

“—relax and enjoy the vacation. Sho-san, I’m not going hiking with you tomorrow. I want my massage. I’ve been working like crazy for the last week, and I deserve this massage. And there’s no way I want to exert so many energy at this point. I want to do nothing. And nothing at all.”

“But—“

Jun stands his ground. The gateway has taken excessive planning on both sides. Jun was not able to get straight days off while Sho had to wait for his travel schedule to get a little bit lighter. Finally, it was only after Golden Week that they were able to have similar day offs. Jun is not going to waste the opportunity to relax.

Disappointment is apparent in Sho’s face and Jun doesn’t even have the energy to get into a fight right now. They’ve travelled since morning and now that they’re here, Jun was thinking of having a quick dinner and a relaxed talk at their room, perhaps making out while they’re at it, seeing where things would lead and call it a night—preferably together, where they tangled under the futon together and sleeping together. The next day should be a slow day, where he could sleep in and then see what he hits fancy for lunch.

Jun sighs and then gives up. “I’m going to sleep. Good night.”

Sho doesn’t move from his seat, only nodding faintly and Jun is beyond caring. They could deal with this in the morning. He doesn’t trust himself to do anything else. He opens his suitcase without any ceremony, grabs an old sleeping shirt, and strips right there.

By the time Jun settles in inside his side of futon, he could still see Sho sitting on the chair, flipping his notebooks. He wills himself to sleep and is asleep in no time.

*

By the morning, Jun wakes up and reaches to Sho’s side, finding it cold. He sighs and slowly wills himself to open his eyes but there’s something on the back of his mind telling him that he doesn’t have to wake up. Sho’s gone; probably keeping up with his plan and for Jun to wake up at the moment is not necessary. 

Jun ends up turning on his bed and goes back to sleep. When he wakes up the second time, sunlight has already come from the shill of the windowpanes. It must be noon by now. Jun stretches in luxury—a quality night sleep does one body good—completely refreshed and recharged.

After going down to the hall to find a cup of coffee, and having a nice lady provides him with not only coffee but also some small complimentary muffins, he finds a small handwritten note at the small table next to the door when he went back to their room. 

_Probably back after 6 PM._

So Sho went ahead and is enjoying the time he had planned, going along with his schedule. 

*

The day goes great; Jun finally steps outside and is greeted by a beautiful small Japanese garden. There’s faint sound of water trickling somewhere near and he has the time to nurse his coffee, watching a few of butterflies—really—circling one bunch of flowers. 

He sits there for a while, waiting for the call for his massage session to come. He was planning to go back inside when he’s done with sitting at the porch. But he keeps on sitting there until a woman from the inn calls him, letting him that his hour is up in a few minutes.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was planning to go back inside but it is so beautiful and quiet here.”

The woman smiles. “It’s no problem at all. When you’re ready, please go to the counter. You can begin you session soon.”

Jun nods his thank you. “I’ll be there in a minute. Thank you.”

The woman silently retreats back inside and Jun takes one look of the garden. Perhaps tomorrow he could take Sho here and show the quiet and beautiful garden. But then again, Sho would want to trek the other side of the mountain. He doesn’t give it much thought but now that he has enough coffee the night’s fight comes back to his mind. 

He left Sho and went to bed just like that. Not that it was entirely his fault. Did Sho expect him to stay coherent after a two-day straight extra work to only go during rush afternoon hour since the place is secluded enough they need a half day to travel. It was dark when they got here, and Jun was entirely exhausted. He barely listened to Sho’s chirpy explanation; there wasn’t anything to see after all, pitch-dark country road all the way.

They have their room in split second since the inn has already expecting them. Jun hardly notice the man who showed them their room, feeling grateful that they arrived and now there’s a soft futon waiting for him. He went straight to the bathroom, thinking of taking a short shower, but then went out again because he thought that he must at least help Sho to get their luggage together. He went out of the bathroom, finding Sho already taking out his guidebook and the talk happened.

*

Sho came back exhausted, shining with sweat. 

Jun is reading his book, curling on the corner of the lazy chair on their room. With the sliding door facing the side garden open, afternoon air is filling the room. It was nice and quiet until an exhausted and loud drunk Sho barged into the door. 

“Hi.”

Even as he lifts his gaze, his fingers blindly reaching to dog-ear the part of his book, Jun doesn't make any move from the chair. He sees Sho hefting down a large backpack next to his suitcase.

Their gazes meet and it is Jun who smiles first. It is a weak smile; Jun is fully aware of that, but it was the effort he could give from his side. He wasn’t sure how Sho would react, so for now, a weak smile is all that he could offer.

Sho stands for a while and Jun nearly regrets his decision to offer a smile first. But then Sho shifts in his stance, awkwardly, and offers a weak smile back. 

If things were simple, they probably are set to call yesterday behind them. But things were not simple. 

Sho could only stand as much seeing Jun in his loose sweat shirt, his old t-shirt and the glasses with a pair of book. Curiosity, or rather sudden tingle of desire, wins the war in Sho’s logical head. Jun looks warm, inviting, and delicious.

“I’m sorry.”

That would be too easy but Sho decides against going with his original plan of sulking up because Jun decides to not follow his well-thought plan.

 _The_ plan has been thoroughly thought about during his exploration to the mountain. Just as he has calculated the trip took 3.5 hour back and forth and he was missing Jun all the way, especially when he went to find the layered waterfalls, even more beautiful from the photos on his book, the infamous stone road near the top of the mountain—he’s been dying to walk on the path since the first time he heard about that from a friend, and of course the delicious lunch set he ordered at yet another infamous place—a soba place secluded from the road, and Sho could attest to it, had the best special wheat soba he had ever tried in his life.

And now Jun is at their room, lounging with the book—and has he mentioned reading glasses--

“What?” Jun says in disbelief. At least now he sets his book on the chair and walking toward Sho with uncertainty. 

Sho doesn’t move forward because it was at least Jun’s turn to take the step toward him. It’s true he neglect his plan of sulking but still, one needs to hold his ground somewhere.

But he repeats the apology again, or more like this time it’s him apologizing for his state of appearance right now. Sho knows his hair is all over the place, mated with sweat and he’s been dying to step into a cold shower. “I’m sorry for today.”

“No,” Jun says, “I should be the one who said sorry. You look tired.”

“I am tired, I’ve been walking around places for a whole day,” Sho says, “but you look rested and seeing you just now gives me the best view today.”

Jun smiles at the compliment. Once the sweet-talker, always a sweet-talker. He begins to think that he would get use to it soon, but he’s going to cherish the time when he could still flush over a compliment, no matter how simple it is. “I guess you don’t go to many places today.”

“On the contrary, I went to all the places I planned today and now I’m back to have you in our room.”

“You flatterer,” Jun says before frowning in slight disgust, “a smelly flatter.”

Sho laughs, partially in relief and simple happiness. He was ready to have Jun to continue their argument at night. He wasn’t really expecting such warm welcome, considering himself in a tired state of mind. He was even thinking of renting another room, in the worst case. But Jun is here, smiling at him and commenting on how smelly he is—which is probably the same state he thought of himself and he cannot contain his grin. 

“I’ll take a quick shower. Then probably we can head out to grab dinner? I’m starving by the way,” Sho says.

“I’ve been waiting for you to have dinner,” Jun says. “If you weren’t back in the next hour, I probably would head out myself.”

“Thank you for waiting then,” Sho says, with a shy smile, “I’m just going to take a quick shower, and then I’m ready to go.”

“Okay,” Jun says, before adding, “or you want me to wash your back?”

“What?” Sho already turns toward the small attached-bathroom, discarding his shirt carelessly, when he suddenly stops when hearing Jun’s offer. A grin spreads on his face. “Oh my god, please do. This is the best day.”

“Hold you breath,” Jun says, smirking as he discards his own shirt. “It’s going to get even better.”

Sho lets out a squeal and then hurriedly heading to the bathroom.

*

“You smell awful,” Jun says. Still he goes inside the small bathroom after Sho, closing the door behind them and crowding the man who’s currently trying to take off his pants.

“I know. It’s been a long hike,” Sho says, after a ‘ha!’ now that he could get rid of both his trousers and boxers. “And a tiring one.”

“Mhmm,” Jun says, both in appreciation of naked smelly toned back of Sho and of Sho’s statement for the tiring hike.

“Do you mind if I set the water on cold? I could use the hit.”

“No problem. You are the one who’s going to be under cold water after all.”

Sho looks back and see Jun is already taking off his shirt down to his boxer. “Oh, are you now?”

“I’m not taking another shower, but you are very tempting at the moment.”

Sho grins so wide that Jun almost forgives him for what happened that day. Almost.

“Go soap up, and I’ll join you,” Jun says. He waits for Sho to excitedly step into the shower box and discards his boxer slowly. He could wait for his turn until late tonight, since he knows that he’s going to get it eventually. Now it’s time to drive Sho crazy, give him a lesson or two about today and then have fun with it. 

Jun steps into the shower box and the smell of Sho’s soap welcomes him. The man has already lathered himself under the shower. Drips of soaps come down to his waist to only be spread again in systematic movement. 

“Put the water to minimum, will you,” Jun says, announcing himself in the closed box. He touches Sho’s back leisurely and feel the muscle moves under his touch. 

Sho turns the faucet, leaving only small amount of water trickling from the head of the shower and leave the rest to Jun. 

Jun steps closer to Sho, pressing close until his chest collide with Sho’s back. Reaching in front of Sho, he puts some soap onto his hand and begins to soap up Sho’s chest in slow rubs.

A moan later, Sho is reaching both hands to support himself on the wall in front of him. Eyes closing, he leans back against Jun, exposing his front torso for Jun to rub and his neck for Jun to devour. 

“You miss a spot,” Jun says. His hands are slowing making wide circles on Sho’s chest—an act he had wanted to do since the first time they meet and now since he had the chance, he savors the moment indulgently. “And another spot.”

“I’m sorry.”

The words come out so earnestly that Jun wasn’t sure whether it’s Sho apologizing for their argument last night or merely for missing a spot while he lathered himself. But the moan that comes the moment Jun’s hands slide down toward Sho’s stomach is telling a different story. They are going to go past their argument, even if they resolve part of it with a simple hand job in the shower. They are going to talk about it later, Jun knows, but for now, he wants Sho to moan under his ministration and forget his plan, his hike, his everything; that everything Sho thinks about at the moment is all about Jun’s hand, Jun’s chest that supporting him and Jun’s lips on the back of his ear, sucking leisurely, marking the man as his.

“Please.”

Another word from Sho but Jun doesn’t lower his hand, keeping his soapy hands just slightly bumping to Sho’s erection once in awhile without going to the prize. Jun then presses closer, his erection sliding up and down on Sho’s ass and drawing out another muffled moan from Sho.

Enough with the tease, Jun wanted to say, they need to have dinner soon, but with Sho giving it all to him, with the moan, with the hands trying to stay on the wall; it’s heady and Jun doesn’t want to stop. He slides his hand down on Sho’s thighs, still avoiding the erection and helps Sho spread his legs wider. He finally slides his other hand to hold Sho’s cock, timing it with a bite behind Sho’s ear, just above the spot he’s been sucking the whole time. Sho lets out a desperate groan and Jun decides to give something for the man to hold on to another minute—his hands starts to move on Sho’s erection slowly. He keeps one hand with loose grip while the other reaching for the balls and starts massaging.

Jun feels Sho’s weight getting more on him, both trying to press closer and move his hip forward to gain friction—this is exactly what Jun wanted. He smiles in triumph, and begins to shower light kisses on Sho’s exposed neck. 

“Sho,” Jun says just in time as he gives Sho’s erection a tighter grip and earnestly giving him sure pumps. Sho chokes on his answer, and manages to let out a weak groan as Jun now no longer teasing. “Is this what you want?”

Sho is busy regulating his breathing, short puffs of air spluttering out of his open mouth every time Jun set another pump, giving Sho what he was waiting for. “Yes. Please, Jun. Please.”

There’s no need to delay anymore; if Jun has wanted to prolong this a little bit longer he could have done so. But with Sho’s hips moving in time with Jun’s pumping his cock, he is also getting a delicious friction every time Sho’s ass moves back on his erect cock.

“If you’re sleeping on me while having your cock inside me later, I’m going to go ballistic on you.”

Sho’s only answer is a breathless gasp and Jun moves his other hand to wrap himself on the man and stroking Sho’s cock earnestly. The water is still dripping on them from the top showerhead, and Jun doesn’t stop even when Sho’s breathing is getting more and more irregular. Jun has wanted to delay his own, knowing that he’ll be getting his later tonight, but Sho is not giving him a chance—nothing conscious at that point, but with Sho’s ass moves in perfect sync with his hand jerking Sho off, there’s not much he could do. 

Jun comes just as Sho finishes letting out a long groan. He jerks his hips, pressing to Sho as the man riding off his orgasm, trying to prolong the blitz pleasure. They both keep on moving, in tandem, as Jun’s arm completely holding Sho together, pressing them closer, until the ripples subside.

“Jun. Can I—“

And Sho doesn’t need to say another word because Jun loosens his hold on Sho’s chest and allows the man to turn facing him. Sho’s eyes are heavy with pleasure and—what he doesn’t want to misjudge as—warmth. 

“Come here.”

This time Jun leans toward Sho, closing in their remaining distance and sighs when finally Sho’s arm wrapping him tight. He looks up, gaze meeting Sho’s eyes and accepts the kiss. Jun melts into the kiss, giving what he’s been denying Sho with gladly.

“I’m sorry for today,” Sho says, before leaning up for another kiss. “I’m so sorry for pressing things up at you.”

Jun’s response is only, “Shut up. Apology accepted. Finish kissing me and then let’s get out of here before we’re running the water supply of this inn out.”

Sho laughs on Jun’s waiting lips and then resumes to kiss him properly. “One more minute and then we’ll get that dinner.”

“Fine.”

*


	6. Chapter 6

“Say, what about next Saturday?”

“I’m on duty on Saturday,” Jun says, sighing to heaven. He was under the opinion that he has talked about this with Sho, but the man keeps on asking the same question. “I am, you can say, almost always on duty on Saturday.”

“I forgot,” Sho says, sighing from the other end of the line. “You told me about that already.”

At the end of April, Sho is not able to go for dinner as freely as he has been the previous month, mainly because the new restructure plan of his firm. He stays at the office till late at night. Jun doesn't push much because he knows Sho needs to deal with work but mostly their night conversation does not quench their longing for each other’s presence.

“What is it this time anyway?”

“I just have happened to have two tickets for the new theater performances in Shimokitazawa. The review has been stellar.”

“You don’t just happened to have two tickets. You bought it already, didn’t you?”

“Well, I instantly remembered about you when I saw the ad online. It was just few clicks away and now I have two tickets in my inbox.”

“Sho-san.”

“I’m not even sorry. It was a good ad, and I need to try to ask you out.”

“I thought we talked about this already. Didn’t we agree, or should I say, didn’t you agree that I would not be able to do things just like normal people?”

“What’s with the normal people argument anyway? Why you keep using that word? I said this before and I said this again, you are as normal as the next person. And if I want to try, I just need to try, okay. Don’t get overly uptight on this.”

“Excuse me?”

“Okay, that’s probably a wrong choice of word from my part. Sorry again,” Sho says. “I just want to try.”

“And I don’t blame your for that,” Jun says. It’s not actually easy to keep oneself stay cool on a phone conversation like this. He was particularly busy this week and having Sho planning things for them without consulting with him is not something he needs at this point. “I am just tired and work hasn’t been friendly today. So, perhaps I should also apologize for the tone.”

Sho doesn’t responds and just by the time Jun starts feeling a little bit uncomfortable—what should he do, more apology or just stay silent because he apologized once and second time is not actually necessary—he could hear Sho shifting on the line. 

“I think we set up on the wrong foot today. We’ve been doing nothing but saying the wrong things since you picked up my call.”

“It wasn’t my intention to say things in that tone—“

“—and I shouldn’t have pushed too hard. I know, but that’s just how it was. Now, could we just start over and talk about our day. I have things I want to tell you, you know, the small things.”

Jun smiles weakly at that. They are trying on making this work and he shouldn’t be too cranky. “I hope starting over doesn’t involve hanging up first and then me waiting for your phone again. I have been waiting all day to talk to you and now that I have you I am not going to hang up on you.”

Sho’s laughter on the line is refreshing and Jun realizes that he’s been waiting for the sound of it. 

“We can just go change the subject right now. You want to go first? How’s your day then, Jun”

“Not so smooth. But I’ll start anyway. Today was long, exhausted and I had to face three of the most annoying people probably in Shinjuku districts today and I have no patience left. Then someone cut my line during the train commute, I was losing it entirely if it wasn’t for my uniform.”

“You’re still on uniform right now?”

“I was, 10 minutes ago, just before you call. So you can scratch that plan of jerking of at the thought of me with uniform.”

Sho is not slow. “Why would I do that when I can have the real thing sucking me off tomorrow, with said uniform.”

“You are so filthy and weird.”

“You like it that way.”

“Unfortunately I do. But then, I haven’t finished the story. On the way home it began drizzling. By the way, did it rain on your neighborhood?”

“Just small drizzle, yeah, but I only caught the end of it and manage to stay dry till I got home.”

“I envy you. Anyway, I then have to skip the supermarket and went straight home, since I only have my work coat—which I need to wear tomorrow so I can’t afford to get it wet. Anyway, I’m getting to the end of the point.”

“I’m listening at the end of my seat.”

“You’re on your bed. Stop it with the commentary,” Jun says.

Sho laughs again and it’s enough to bring smile on Jun’s face and have him continue his story. 

“So, I skipped my weekly grocery and got home in a rush only to realize that I only have fresh tofu and rice. I was planning to by some meat and stocking the fridge up for next week. But I guess simple meal would have to wait.”

“Why don’t you do delivery? I suppose there’s a place or two you could ring for hot ramen or something?”

“And spend money on greasy food or thick noodles?”

“You are so weird,” Sho says, “and if I don’t know better I’m going to call one up here right now and ask them to deliver some Chinese food up to your doorstep.”

“You are even weirder,” Jun replies, lightly this time because now Sho’s being sweet instead of irritating—which is a good change and now he feels like talking even more. “Anyway, then I set up with some miso soup and rice. Not quite fulfilling for an end of day meal but I can have hot food and that’s enough.”

“Wait what?”

“What?” Jun says. Just when he thought Sho’s getting the hang of it. “What did I say?”

“You had miso soup? Meaning you made miso soup?”

“I just said I did.”

“You can make miso soup?”

“Sho-san, that’d be an over the top reaction, really. I mean, all you have to do is to put some stock and then throw the tofu in them and you have your soup. What’s the big deal of it?”

“Miso soup used to be one of my dreams.”

“You’re having a dream about miso soup? Now that’s really weird.”

“No, no,” Sho says, “the explanation is going to be lengthy. So if you’re okay with that, I’ll tell you the full story.”

“Well, my part is done though. I had miso soup for dinner and that’s it. There’s nothing else to say actually, except that I’m going to down those beer cans soon after I finish talking with you. Didn’t I make you miso soup before?”

“You never did. Perhaps you should. Next time. Or after you listen to the story behind my obsession.”

“I hope it doesn’t put me to sleep,” Jun says. “I’m going to get that can, so you can start now.”

“It’s actually pretty stupid,” Sho begins. “But in Sakurai household there was never a miso soup tradition.”

“I see.”

“I can sense a sarcasm when I hear one.”

“It’s not. I was trying to urge you to keep going, but apparently you don’t need encouragement.”

“You can be so mean sometimes. Anyway, it wasn’t until my teenage years when I went for a sleep over at a friend’s house that I grasp the true concept of miso soup in the morning. His mother was preparing miso soup for breakfast and I just sat that on the stairs, with the smell of miso filling up the house, teasing us to wake up from our sleepy stupor.

“I mean, the smell is so intoxicating, not in the way that it gives you overwhelming feeling but something more subtle yet with great impact,” Sho says, with more like sighing in nostalgia. “And from that day on, a stupid ideal formed in my head; one should have this experience with his partner even if it’s for one day, for just one day in life, to wake up on the bed of your partner by the smell of miso soup shimmering on the pan. It’d be glorious.”

“Is this a not so subtle attempt of having me sleep over on your place and then for me to wake up early in the morning and cook you miso soup?”

“Did it work?” Sho chuckles on the other line. “Or I could always go over there and crash for the night. Who knows I might be getting even more than just a miso soup.”

Jun sips his beer lazily, straightening his feet and prompting them on his coffee table. “You wouldn’t be able to get your hands of me, and nothing would happen out in the morning except us having another fuck.”

“True. But it was worth a shot.”

“So, come over next time I have a day off. Stay the night and I’ll cook you miso soup.”

“Really?” Sho says, joy apparent in his voice. “I mean, I wasn’t implying—“

“The implication is made anyway. And I would love to have you here, staying over. As long as you keep your hands from my book shelves.”

“And your sex toys collection. Got it.”

Jun rolls his eyes to then only realizing that Sho’s not getting his message. “You.”

Sho laughs at the end of the line. “I’ll be glad to stay over next time you allow me.”

“I’m beginning to think that you have nothing else but linger around. Some of us have to work our ass off you know. We don’t have day off—or if we do we’re having the odd one so we are the only one who’s having day off when other has to work.”

“Say that again when I have to make work trip. You wouldn’t see me for months, and I’m going to die in my lonesome at a lonely hotel room somewhere in Cambodia, and you’ll be weeping for my death.”

“Nah. I probably would need new sex toys, but let’s not rushing into this kind of things.”

“I’m sad already.”

“No you’re not. You’re tired because of those long meetings you’ve done all day. Which reminds me that I’ve been wanting to ask you, what did you do on those meetings of yours anyway?”

“You really want to know?”

“Well, I need to ask, right.”

“So, I have ten meetings today.”

“Ten?”

“You said you want to know.”

“No, I said I need to ask but do go on. And then.”

“Most of them are about the new product we are going to launch next month. This new smartphone, one from Korea, we are dealing with. It has been on development for a while. And the first meeting was with the publicity department—their team was a mess and it was a very short meeting because I kind of send them away, cowering with fear, and I have asked them to redo their presentation and business plan and to get back to me by the end of the day. 

“And then the second meeting is about the development department, which runs smooth as we quickly agree on delaying several pointers that could be used on the next project. 

“The third meeting is a presentation by my division for our plan and analysis of the current global demand of—“

Jun yawns.

“I hope your face is going to hit that table so hard when you’re sleeping on me mid story.”

“I’m not sleeping. I’m still here. Current global demand and?” Jun says, prompting Sho to continue while he sinks further to the couch, drag his blanket over his shoulder, and drifts off to sleep.

*

Things that still surprised Sho the most, even after few years of them together, is the fact that Jun takes a lot of time to get into the mood and his uniform. 

He is not going to lie but the thought of making out with a man in a police uniform—well, technically it’s not a police uniform, but there’s pins and belt buckles, and then the hat, and—Sho couldn’t contain himself knowing this, realizing this that he blurted a question of ‘do you have a handcuff’ to which Jun only replied tersely, ‘I do own a pair of boots.’ 

The matter is quite forgotten until the day that Sho visited Jun for the third, or was it the forth, time and received a full blast of Jun in full uniform. He already saw Jun in his crisp light blue shirt. He already saw Jun wearing his hat one day behind the counter. He already sat with Jun, but he had appointment to run to and had to leave early. And it was only today that Sho is standing on the hallway of the Lost and Found office, quietly on a corner, fiddling with his phone, waiting for Jun to come back from his briefing—so they can have lunch together.

Jun walked out from a door on the far right with one of his colleagues. And Sho had the pleasure and shiver across his spine to see finally for the first time see uniform Jun full frontal. 

To Sho’s opinion, it was glorious and utterly gorgeous.

Jun was carrying a folder, or two, or was it a bunch of paper, stuffed paper, Sho doesn’t notice much. He was partially smiling to his friend’s explanation—Sho reminds himself to ask Jun about who the woman actually is. She was telling Jun something with her hand waving enthusiastically, and Jun is smiling politely, nicely, a smile that Sho had witnessed, his official smile. 

His legs swayed along together with their pace—and Sho at the end of the hallway wished that he could have Jun walk toward him forever, to not ever reach him and then he could ogle on how the man gorgeously walk over to him. But then again, it might be a bad idea since what Sho wanted right then right there was to be at the end of the hallway, having Jun find him and then—perhaps—kissing him senseless when the man reached him.

Sho doesn’t move, fascinated by the view. It unfolds like a scene, with Jun sauntering closer and closer toward him, with the woman finally finished explaining something. 

And then the view got better.

He can see Jun’s legs moving in an almost slow-motion sequence. Those legs, those crooked legs swinging one after another, move in what Sho considered as perfect symmetry, perfect anything. In sync, the other Jun’s arm—the one that doesn’t clutch into the paper folder—is hanging just about his trouser pocket. At one point of the walk, the hand slips inside the pocket and Sho has to resist himself from clutching the front of his shirt as a response.

The hips, of course, were something else. Not that Sho hasn’t been paying close attention to the swing of them, not that Sho hasn’t been itching to get a good grip on it, not that Sho hasn’t been dreaming of doing filthy things to those hips, it was everything and then more. The view his getting—on one afternoon in a public office—was what he considered as perfect—and as much as he hated to admit, he knows he’s falling in love all over again—moment of Matsumoto Jun.

But then everything—including his mind, and the most important thing is his heart—shifted beyond when Jun spots him. Sho sees it on his eyes first, the exact moment Jun’s gaze finds his; the hard and serious eyes turn a degree softer. A glint of smile that has been hanging since Jun came out of the office also soften into a recognition—and it’s him, it’s Jun, it’s Jun finding Sho at the end of his office hallway and there’s nothing else Sho needs that day. 

Jun finds him and the man smiles at Sho with a sparkling with restrained pleasure—knowing they are still a public places, but there’s a silent awareness, silent look, silent promise. You’re here now, you’re here already and I found you. Sho was not the one who dwelt too much on hope and dream to begin with, but at that very moment—perhaps only for that very moment—he hopes to gods that if this is a dream, if Jun is a dream, if he and Jun are a dream, it should never ever end.

*

Jun stops in front of Sho, subtly reaching for Sho’s rigid arm on his side and smiles openly. “You’re here already, I see.”

Sho wants to say something; he already has things to say just now, a greeting to be given freely, a small talk he prepared about the other friendly officer, a coherent respond to be given. But at the end, he could only offer a weak smile, a dumbstruck stupid smile back at Jun and replied. “Yes.”

Jun raises his eyebrows in confusion, not able to tell what Sho has in mind at the very moment, or the reason the man couldn’t take his eyes off of him. But he’s liking the attention, liking the look of awe on Sho’s face, liking everything about Sho now, in his rumpled suit after a long day at work, with his tousled damp hair—Jun could see that Sho must have been battling the early afternoon rush, with his large backpack behind him, looking slightly exhausted but still with a faint glow on his face. That he likes Sho, a lot, Jun finally realizes, welcomes and accepts that single fact.

“Give me a five minutes.”

Sho only nods. 

“Do you want to sit over there and wait for me? I’ll be right with you.”

Sho nods again and Jun smiles at him. He squeezes Sho’s arm lightly, beaming a smile and turns to his desk to make the quickest dash of clearing up his stuff in the history of his employment.

*

Sho only wants to go home; the day had been nothing but tiring. For once—a very rare occasion indeed, his schedule didn’t seem to want to run smooth. It started with a glitch in the morning and by lunchtime Sho was scrambling to salvage the day.

The report he wanted to be on his desk didn’t pull through—one of his staff had a minor accident and had to stay in the hospital for observation. Sho couldn’t blame the man even if he internally cursing his staff habit—and his own—for trying to pull off an all-nighter. The report ended up abandoned on an empty desk and Sho had to ask few of his other staff to try to patch things and be ready in half an hour for an important presentation with an important client. It was, in short, an important day. 

Gone horribly wrong.

He finds himself outside his office building way after work hour ended. The summer heat is still in full effect even if it’s past nine. The plaza has now cleared from the usual crowd and he stands there in silence to just sigh heavily and curse the sky.

There was a talk about having dinner tonight since Jun said he was able to get off work around 6PM but needed to get back home soon for the early shift the next day. Sho was only able to call off their appointment with a short email—and managed to check his inbox few hours later to see Jun’s short reply. _It’s completely fine. Rain check later, y/y?_ And Sho wanted to scream that no, it’s not completely fine. It’s not even fine. It’s a disaster and he was hoping to share cold beer and hot meal with Jun—and weep out of frustration and bitching about his work. 

He holds his next sighs and decides to go home. 

And perhaps trying to call Jun, hoping the man hasn’t been asleep—or trying to rest and could spare a minute or two—preferably twenty to thirty though—so Sho could rant about his day. 

The sky is unexpectedly clear for a night and Sho sighs again. He doesn’t feel like going somewhere to have dinner alone, and the thought of going home is only enticing as far as the nice long shower he could have when he gets home. 

He was about to sigh again when his eyes catch a familiar sight on the bench near the road, just right under the plaza lamp. Jun is sitting cross-legged, hunching a little bit as he is focusing on the phone in his hand, fingers scrolling and looks entirely at ease in his street clothes—jeans and his leather jacket, bless the man, looks entirely refreshing as opposed to Sho’s wrinkled suit.

Sho walks quickly only to stop in front of the man and taps his shoes to distract him. “Jun?” And the sight of Jun lifting his face, shifting his focus, from his phone to only find Sho standing in front of him is something Sho wants to cherish forever. “What are you doing?”

“Hi,” and a spreading smile are Jun’s only answer.

“You—,“ Sho says, still looking down, completely in awe of the man who’s at the moment looking up to him in such a childish expression of joy and a tired eyes. “You said you’re going to have a short night because of your early shift—“

“And you look like shit,” Jun says, reaching to tug Sho’s wrist. “Come sit beside me for a while, will you?”

Sho complies, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Jun. Why is the man here? His tired brain couldn’t process the fact that Jun is sitting here, at ease, and, what, waiting for him? That couldn’t be, and in the very short moment, Sho refuses to believe what his brain—or perhaps his heart—is trying to tell him. Perhaps Jun is here because, or even better, for him? He doesn’t dare to hope. “Why?”

“Mhm, why?” Jun keeps his smile, and puts his phone on his pocket. “Perhaps because I hungry and want to ask you our for dinner.”

“Huh?”

“If you have time that is. I heard you haven’t had the best day at work today. So I won’t blame you if you want to go straight home and have that hot shower. And you can wallow even more properly and doesn't have—“ Jun laughs in the middle of his bluff. “Your face is hilarious.”

“Jun.” Sho feels his chest tighter and it isn’t easy to breathe. And there’s something at the end of his eyes, stinging, just so he knows that there’s some tears threatening to come down. He doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want to forget this feeling, he doesn’t want anything but Jun—and now that the man is here, he truly doesn’t want anything else, or perhaps some food would be a good start. But now he gives himself a leeway he seldom did, for enduring a long fucked-up day, for the good work he managed to pull at the end of the day, for appreciating Jun’s offer. He shifts closer to Jun and then leans his head on Jun’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Hey,” Jun says with a surprise, but the man doesn’t move from Sho’s sudden move. “We’re still in public.”

“I don’t care. It’s been a crappy day. I deserve this, even for two seconds.”

“Okay.” To add to Sho’s surprise, Jun doesn’t move and shift his shoulder, but staying steady and replying with a soft warm tone. “But I need to remind you that I’ve been waiting for you for quite sometime and I am hungry and you need to feed me. So, soon after you get over your shock, I want you to pull that phone of yours and start to get us reservation for some Chinese food. What do you think of Chinese food and cold beer?”

“Perfect. Just perfect. You are perfect.”

“Don’t give the impression of you already delirious or I would just hail a taxi and then round you up to go home.” Jun says, without venom. “We should get moving, shall we?”

“Yes. Yes, we should. I happen to know a good Chinese restaurant nearby. They serve Singaporean beer. It’s great.”

“Good. I’m ready when you are.” Jun smiles tenderly at Sho, crooked and wicked all the same. 

Sho sighs with content. He’s not planning to move soon but they need to go soon; still, it’s too precious to end and he’s going to milk this for as long as he is able. “Give me five more seconds.”

“Okay.”

*


	7. Chapter 7

“Good evening,” Sho greets with a smile. 

He has been waiting for a while—not that he’s complaining, he was early after all. And Jun doesn’t need to know that, he decides at that very minute, it will not leave a good impression. Not when Sho is consciously and actively trying to impress the man. Even after two years into this dance, in a cool autumn night.

Jun is the one who’s doing the impressive act—seeing the man closer at least once a week only gives Sho’s heart more flutters and backflip of joy and happiness. He keeps on remembering the first day they met on that dingy police office, where Jun is in his stark dark blue uniform, polished and all—without the hat sadly, cool eyes and polite smile. 

Sho has fallen hard from minute one and now here they are trying to make things work. It couldn’t get any better that, or could it?

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” Jun says. “I thought we’re meeting at eight?”

“We are. And you’re not late. I just happened to be here just now.”

“Oh.” 

Jun seems relieved and Sho couldn’t help to smile wider because of it. He would have the same reaction if he were the one who one-sidedly thought of keeping someone waiting for him in an appointment. 

“So. Shall we?”

“Sure.”

*

“How rich are you?”

“Excuse me?” Sho has to make sure he heard Jun’s question right, setting down his bowl of miso soup and gives Jun his full attention.

“You are rich, right? Not the level of loaded just because of your current fancy job but like rich from the very beginning.”

“What prompts this? When you put it on a question like that, it seems like a terrible thing.”

“Sorry if it was too straightforward, but I can’t help to ask. You’ve been spending money without a heed of how much it means. Not in the bad way, I suppose, because I think I would have done the same if I am in your position, but there are things that intrigued me. Some small things, things that you probably didn’t realize.”

Sho stares back at Jun with a question. They have never discussed about this. Sure, Sho has his fancy mansion downtown, and he has a fancy job, wearing, what Jun repeatedly say as, fancy suits, and all the things that he has, but he never does for once consider him rich. “Well, I don’t realize at most.”

“Because you’re born with it, I assume.”

“That particular assumption is not entirely incorrect. But, I must say that it’s not as bad as you think it is. Not bad in terms of how I spend my money.”

“It’s your money to spend and I have no intention in talking bad things about how you are spending it. It’s just it has been getting more and more obvious these days and I couldn’t help to say something.”

“Does it bother you?”

“No. It doesn’t,” Jun answers quickly, before posing another question. “The question is then, does it bother you?”

Sho blinks at the unexpected question and gives himself a moment to think. “I was about to say that it doesn't but then perhaps it does. If it bothers you, then it might bother me.”

“That’s not what this is all about. I have no problem whatsoever, but I see that you probably do. That’s why I’m asking.”

“This is getting too complex all of a sudden.”

“We don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable though,” Jun says. “Or do you need more beer? And we can go back to whatever we’ve been talking before. Sorry for bringing this up.”

“No. Let’s settle this—if there’s something to settle about. Which I think there is. Jun, I don’t know how to answer this.”

Jun comes back with two cans of cold beer, cracking one open for Sho and finishes his opened one before cracking one for himself. “Then you don’t have to answer it. The question is not going to get anywhere, and we can set it aside for now.”

“But I’m going to think about it,” Sho promises. “And in effort of showing good will, I’m going to answer the first question. Yes, my parents are rich, like filthy ones. I’ve been raised with money, old money, but that’s the past. Now I’m having my own work and my own money. I’m done with them.”

“Okay,” Jun says as he tiptoes on the counter and reaches to touch Sho’s cheek softly. “Thank you for telling me that. We can talk about this later. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I really hope so. You’re not allowed to go anywhere until at least I managed to answer that.”

“You’re being too serious in this. I was just asking. I apologize if it’s not the right time and place.”

“That’s alright. It just comes as a surprise to me. Sorry if it bothers you.”

“As I said earlier, it doesn’t bother me. And it will not bother me, as much as my being lowly civil servant doesn't’ bother you. It’s just a question.”

“I know. I know, I just, now that I’m thinking about it, perhaps there’s going to be a solid answer soon.”

“If so, then it’s good. We can talk about it again later, okay.”

“Okay.”

*

“I enjoyed the attention during the first months or so.”

“What do you mean?”

They have agreed on a Sunday brunch at Jun’s apartment with deliveries from a nearby bakery and coffee from Jun’s new espresso machine, a gift from Sho from last Christmas.

Sho remembered that Jun has asked about his job once a long time ago and recently realized that he has never given the man a full answer. It just came to him just now and now he couldn’t avoid going back to the conversation.

“People kept on asking where my new fancy office was and I answered them downtown Shinjuku. Most of them are looking at me with a different light. Like, oh, great, that’s so great. I’ve never known anyone who worked in the middle of Shinjuku office. And I must admit that it was good to be at the center of the talk for once.”

Jun nods, now his full attention is at Sho; his croissant set aside and his coffee forgotten. Sho loves it when Jun’s giving his full attention and he continues with his story.

“But after a while, I got over the hype and started to sigh at the commute, the crowd, and the madness that is work. And after a year, I am starting to dread the day I need to go to work. 

“It wasn’t until my sister invited me to visit her down in Nagano, and for the first time I am experiencing a well-deserved holiday. And I finally know what’s the good of trying to recharge and getting recharged at the end.

I then know that if you work hard enough, you can set aside those moments of silence for you. From then on, I have it in mind, when’s the next vacation, where I’d be going next, and that’d be enough to tide me over. Till next time, I always say to the view, till next time.”

Jun hums with a soft smile and a small shrug, and picks his chopstick back. He reaches to touch Sho’s right hand, giving it a soft grip. The touch feels soothing and filled with gratitude. “Finish your food.”

Sho blinks and looks down to find almost half of his bread is still left on his plate. He looks up to find Jun smiling and having a pleasant sensation running through him. Sho rises from his seat quickly, leaning forward, dropping a soft peck to Jun’s cheek.

Sho returns to his chair and picking up his bread. He grins innocently as he watches Jun grumble and rub his cheek to get rid of the crumbles Sho just landed there without protests.

*

“Give me a kiss.”

“What? No. This is broad daylight. And we’re in a park downtown. What the hell are you thinking?”

“Come on. We’ll find an alley and the you could kiss me goodbye.”

“Why? Where are you going?”

“I need to be in New Delhi for a week. “

“What?” Jun stares and sees a sad grimace with a fixed expression of disbelief and anger is clear in Sho’s face. “You’re telling me this now? We’ve eaten lunch together for like, what, an hour, and you decided to tell me this now on our way back to our offices?”

“I was trying to tell you before but we’re busy talking and being entertained by the old-man-of-wallet story. That’s even more interesting than my plan in India.”

“Sho-san.”

“I know. That’s why I wanted a kiss. You’re working overtime tonight and I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Jun shoves Sho to the side and strides away from the man. Fuck him, he’s going to back to the office now and Sho could reflect on his own decision. He doesn’t give a damn. India. What the hell was the man thinking, trying to hide it from him or something? Fuck him.

Later that night, Jun uses his key to enter Sho’s apartment and is greeted with heavy cigarette stench. He finds Sho curling on the sofa with a glass of whiskey on his hand, slightly drunk, and surprised.

“What are you doing here?” 

“I haven't had dinner and I came straight down from the station.” Jun strides straight to the kitchen, ignoring Sho’s tone and settles in the kitchen with his grocery bags. “We’re having pasta tonight.”

After that only the faint sound of Jun preparing his pasta in the kitchen is heard. He doesn’t turn to look at what Sho is doing back at the living room but from the breeze of night slowly reaching the kitchen he assumes that Sho has open the veranda window to let some fresh air in.

In under half an hour, Jun is bringing two large plates of pasta to the dining table. Sho is already sitting on the table without his whiskey glass, looking down to his lap silently. 

Jun returns to the kitchen to get a can of beer for himself and a tall glass of water for Sho. He then settles on his usual chair next to Sho and slides the glass. “You missed dinner didn't you?”

The loud grumbles of Sho’s stomach answers the question but Sho then says, almost in whispers, “I never had fights like this before.”

Jun turns to touch the tips of Sho’s hair, giving them soft pull. “I never had difficult boyfriend like you before. I am still mad at you but I’m not having you miss your dinner. If you are going to try drink your woe away you need to fuel up first.”

Sho finally lifts his head a bit, staring at the plate in front of him and closes his eyes. 

“I'm starving,” Jun says before he says his grace and digs in immediately. He hums appreciatively on his choice to add chili powder; the dish tastes better now.

Sho is still sitting still in his seat. 

Jun reaches for the bread from the basket he set earlier and begins to break them in halves and slather butter moderately. Still with his focus on the bread, he says, “Eat your food, Sho-san. It's not going to be as good if it's cold.” 

Sho reaches for his fork and begin to twirl his pasta with slight hesitation. Yet after the first bite he is humming in delight. 

“Good?”

Sho nods.

Jun hums and continues to slather more butter to another piece of bread. “Here you go. Extra butter for you. This should go well with the pasta.” 

“Jun—“

Jun is shoving another mouthful and taking his time before he turns to see Sho has set his fork on the plate and been staring at him.

“Thank you.”

“Your welcome. Now finish that while it’s still hot. I still have some if you want seconds. Then you can continue being a jerk again, but this time with your stomach full. I don’t want you to get sick, especially with your upcoming trip.”

Sho reaches out to touch Jun’s cheek, caressing with the back of his hand. He doesn't say anything but his intense gaze speaks plenty.

Jun smiles at him and holds the back of Sho’s palm briefly. “I'm still mad at you and I'll yell back at you later after dinner.”

Sho grimaces at that, but there's a faint flush on his cheeks. “I do have a red that I think goes with this. You want some?” 

“No. Early shift tomorrow remember? I'll stick with some beer.”

Sho nods and then continues to eat. Jun gets Sho seconds while he polishes everything. He is sipping the remaining of his beer as he watches Sho deals with the dishes.

“I’m staying over tonight,” Jun says. “What time is your flight?”

Sho turns, nodding with a smile. “10.”

“Good. I have to leave at 6.”

It’s nearly midnight and Jun is completely exhausted. He heads to the bedroom immediately after showering briefly and falls asleep in minutes. When he slowly surfaces from deep sleep, he groans at the feeling of wet mouth on his cock.

“Fuck,” Jun groans hoarsely.

Sho’s pace only gets quicker, hands finding Jun’s clenched on the sheet, covering them with his. He grunts in satisfaction as Jun reaches his climax with a loud and long groan, using his mouth even after coming. He makes sure to lick Jun’s cock clean before looking up to see Jun’s sleepy satisfied face.

“Come up here, up here,” Jun says with his breath still wheezing. 

Sho moves to straddle Jun and begins to touch himself, with Jun's instruction to go faster and make it tight just the way he likes it. He’s looking straight into Jun's eyes with mouth open, gleaming dirtily with saliva and traces of Jun. And Sho moans louder and louder before giving himself a few tight strokes and coming all over Jun's stomach.

Sho collapses beside Jun without heed of how they dirty they are and it is Jun who grabs some tissue from the nightstand to clean the mess they made. He cleans Sho’s face softly before pulling the blanket to cover Sho’s naked back again. 

After dropping kisses on Sho’s hair, Jun gingerly walks out to the bathroom. He takes a quick warm shower, immensely grateful that Sho has a nicer shower than his. He returns to bed to find Sho’s already snoring lightly and takes a full minute to stare at Sho’s sleeping face. At least Sho could get another hour that'd give him some rest before he has to go to the airport.

Jun runs his hand on Sho’s hair after nipping Sho’s lips softly. 

Sho stirs and opens his eyes, sleepily. “You're going now?”

“I'm gonna be late if I'm not.” Jun leans down again and gives Sho some more sweet kisses.

“Jun, I'm sorry for yesterday.”

“I know,” Jun replies softly. 

Sho leans against Jun's touch and they stay like that for a little longer. 

Jun finally drops another kiss. “Dinner on you when you get back?”

Sho nods with a smile. 

“Safe trip. You’ll call me later?”

“I will.”

*


	8. Chapter 8

“Do you think that the backpack guy you told me about over skype will be back? You haven’t told me that he’d returned”

Jun looks up from the pan and by Sho’s calculation with the sauce already stirring and nothing requires his immediate attention in the next five minutes. Sho has already poured the wine and he was hoping they could enjoy few sips before dinner.

Jun has come down straight from the station, and while Sho feels bad from having Jun to cook dinner for them—he had insisted on some deliveries, but Jun only ignored him and said that he’d be there with groceries—he is truly enjoying the moment. 

It has been almost two months since their last date, partially because Sho has just finished a completion of new foreign account deals that had required him to travel for a few weeks.

Jun steps away from the stove to get his glass and then leans forward on the kitchen counter, sipping his wine slowly. 

Sho is fully aware that the wine is from a good year, light and not overly sweet, just the way Jun likes it, He might not be able to push on the choice of their dinner but Jun said nothing on Sho’s spoiling him with the best wines he could fine. 

“Maybe in a few days,” Jun says after humming appreciatively over Sho’s choice. He gives another sip “The story was very interesting, right?”

“I definitely could say things like that didn’t happen on my work day. But you meet so many interesting people along the day, I almost envy you.”

“You know that you’re welcome to change profession anytime.”

“Not that I would trade my boring work for your lively one, but no thanks. I’m glad to live the experience vicariously.”

“You just don’t want the mess of the hell day—I know I’ve been talking way too much on it, it scares you.”

“When you have a lady threatening to punch you with her bag or a desperate crying high school girls, the job just turn exponentially dangerous. I'm not taking any risk.”

“Scaredy-cat.”

Sho just smiles quietly. “It’s not worth the risk. I’m just going to stay around behind my fancy table and punch numbers for my monthly payment instead.”

Jun laughs at that. From what he’s been trying to look up on the Internet, Sho’s job is nothing but boring. An analyst worth of their degree and reputation is nothing but busy. And from the look of Sho’s at the end of the day—albeit the man is trying so hard to keep the fact under all the cool shade of salary man in fancy suit—the trace of hard work does show. 

Jun has learned early in their relationship that Sho doesn’t quite enjoy to talk about his job while he’s loving his the moment he could listen to Jun’s various story of people he met at work. Sure, Jun is the one who happened to meet a lot of random strangers on the course of his work; but the reason Sho is not sharing is also because Jun doesn’t actually find economy interesting. 

He did try and he still does. And every time Sho is in the mood to reveal just a little bit of the inside info, the knack of those world behind fancy door, Jun blinks and has—Sho’s word, not his—glazed eyes. Well, one cannot blame a guy from trying but Jun has lost it the moment Sho tries to introduce the difference of trading policies for the domestic and international companies. 

Sho finally given up happily knowing that by this reluctance he doesn’t have to try that hard to open up and could go on by his own pace. He doesn’t blame Jun for not trying because the man surely has been giving his best effort—and Jun’s stories of his work is way more interesting that his own. 

Soon, those stories become the highlight of Sho’s day. Be it the lady who tried to punch her bag at Jun or the high school boy who wept over his lost wallet. Or any other combinations thereof.

*

Few hours later, Sho is climbing to Jun’s lap, shamelessly trying to kiss the man out of his senses. He has discarded his shirt unceremoniously shortly after pushing Jun to the couch with intent clear on his face.

“I thought we’re going to watch some movies,” Jun says almost breathlessly, his arms rubbing Sho’s back both in soothing gesture and encouragement.

“You are much more interesting than everything else right now. Shut up and let me kiss you, will you?”

“You have such ways with word.” Jun locks his hands around Sho’s waist. 

Sho dives down, letting all his weight down on Jun, and going for thorough kisses. Jun’s mouth tastes like wine, the good wine he has bought with Jun in mind. 

And tonight, with nothing on schedule the next day, with nothing else they need to do tonight, it seems like one of those nights where they could just go on and on and kissing each other to their heart content.

“You taste so good,” Sho says once he leans back to just breathe Jun and everything in front of him.

“It was your wine, Sho,” Jun whispers on his lips. “That’s like you trying to complement yourself.”

“Well, it wasn’t my intention but you do taste good.”

“And it’s my time to say shut up and just kiss me, will you?”

Sho laughs softly, fixing his hands on Jun’s hair and goes for another kiss. Hell, they could do that all night, no time restraint at all. 

*

“It reeks of cigarette here.”

Sho closes his eyes and internally curses his forgetfulness, knowing that there’s something he forgot to take care of in the morning before he went to work. He already vacuumed the whole place, perhaps even more than once, but of course he’s forgetting something. “Sorry about that.”

He was already expecting a thorough complaint when Jun touches his shoulder, causing Sho to turn in surprise. “I’m just saying. You can easily open the window so you can let some of the stink out. I mostly smoke with my window open, so I can still at least don’t go spending too much on air freshener.”

They haven’t met for few long weeks. Jun has been complaining about their schedule over their lengthy Skype conversation. Sho wasn’t too happy about his own work obligations but he keeps holding his belief that they would have time to catch up. Now that the largest portion of his complicated deals has pulled through, now that he is promised a promotion that will allow him to not travel so much anymore, Sho was excited to spend the weekend with Jun, sharing the good news, and in their own way, celebrating their reunion. 

Now everything is ruined simply because he forgot the smallest thing. But now Sho also sees a faint smile in Jun’s face, now Sho sees that Jun is as excited as himself to be finally spending the weekend together again. And Sho suddenly is hit by an overwhelming sense of gratefulness. 

“Why are you being so nice to me? Constantly.”

Jun laughs. “Wait for a few minute, and then tell me about it again. I’m not that nice, you know. I know where your vacuum is.”

“You’re nice enough for me,” Sho says softly.

Jun rolls eyes on Sho’s statement but he couldn’t hide the flush that rises up to his cheeks. 

Sho has said nothing but the truth, in its raw and precious form, and Jun moves closer to press himself against Sho, warm, solid, and longed, again giving Sho another surprise. “As are you.

Sho smiles widely. He likes it when Jun is speechless because it’s rare and he keeps his silence as a sign of thankfulness.

“Shower first?”

Jun laugh is warm on Sho’s face and Sho holds on tighter, kissing those still trembling with laughter lips.

“No,” Jun whispers on Sho’s lips. “Bedroom first.

*

“Do that. Do that again. Yes”

Sho redoubles his effort to fuck Jun into the mattress. The man is under him and still able to talk, giving him orders, taunting him with dirty words while his brain is currently in overdrive and all he could feel is that Jun is tight and hot and he wants this to never end.

“Sho.”

Sometimes it’s not the orders that turn him on, sometimes it’s not how Jun managed to get him hard and ready in just under a minute, sometimes it’s not their noisy coupling that gets him excited, it is the way Jun breathes his name, so soft, desperate, asking for it, that sends him to the point of no return. 

Jun knows. And he’s using it like a secret weapon, only during the moment when Jun knows that they both have no choice but to go harder, go faster, and think of nothing except for chasing the bliss of orgasm. And Sho knows that he at least wants this to last a while, to taunt Jun back and get him so ready to come when the time comes. He is the one who is currently pressing close and hard, rocking hard and steady. He wants to be the one who controls this but of course Jun has another plan on his sleeve.

“Yes.”

Sho keeps on thinking that at this rate, he could get use to Jun being bossy in bed. He actually enjoys their session where Jun is the one who directs him even though it’s going to be Sho who pounds him senseless. It’s the joy of letting go control that excites him. And to have this revelation thought during sex is not something he had expected. Sho doesn’t know where it comes from but then something lights up on his mind and the next thing he knows he is the one who’s begging. “Please, Jun. Please.”

In an instant, Sho could feel Jun clenching and a breathless moan comes out of the man’s mouth. They are getting there and it’s getting better and better, and then Jun moans deliciously when Sho hits the spot he was trying to find for so long. It was something exhilarating and they are now moving together, chasing the peak with the same rhythm, nothing else matter for them. It’s just pleasure and pleasure all the way. 

Jun moans again and Sho figures that it’s his sign so he finally slides his hand to wrap Jun’s cock. The moan is getting more frequent and louder and there’s nothing else for them but harder and faster. Sho plants his knee firmly and starts to pound at Jun’s with renewed vigor. It’s now and it needs to be now.

It is happening now and then his vision went dark as he closes his eyes when Jun clenches so tight and come with a long groan. He keeps his hand moving and feels Jun trying to sag into the bed in his hold. He’s close and it’s going to be any time soon, when Jun then sighs deeply. “Sho.”

It was that very moment, Sho is deep inside Jun and his senses are in synch with the man and he comes hard inside Jun. Riding his orgasm in a stutter movement of hips, Sho finishes, clinging to Jun who already collapsing and then it is over. 

Slowly, Sho tries to cover Jun’s body with his, as he is trying to regain more energy to simply turn over and move to the side of the bed. He wants to keep the connection just a little bit longer, just a little bit warmer, just a little bit together. 

And Jun allows him that—at least Jun always allows him of this closeness after sex. Sho doesn’t realize about it until their second time where he decided that he wants to cling close until he’s ready to let go—and he wasn’t the one who’s ready to let go. It was always a quick fuck with other and it was his decision to get untangled almost immediately. But with Jun it’s different—Sho wants to cling longer, wants to cling closer, and if possible, wants to cling forever. 

Jun’s voice is muffled by the pillows, but it was with no urgency whatsoever he says, “Heavy.”

Sho chuckles and tries to lift his body with no avail. It feels very nice to press close to Jun, still in their sweating and reeked with sex state. It feels close and intimate. “Just a moment. Let me hold you like this, with me inside you. You feel so good.”

Jun groans, but it wasn’t an approving gesture; at least Sho has made sure of this before so now he’s not worry about it. 

“Thank you,” Sho says, before he starts to give absent kisses onto Jun’s nape.

“Tickles.”

Sho lands several small kisses before he’s pulling himself of Jun and proceeds with cleaning up. 

It was a marvel to see, Jun when thoroughly fucked. Sho is hoping that he is going to be able to see this particular sight for a long time. It’s something that he doesn’t want to let go—something he doesn’t know he’d searched so far. 

“Let me clean you up,” Sho says, after going to the bathroom to fetch small towels. 

Jun rolls over lazily, nonchalant, and allows Sho to do as he pleases—even if the man is going to complain that it tickles sometime soon. Sho enjoys this game as much as Jun anyway.

*

For Jun, it means a lot to gather something from his days. Working in the lost and found section does teach him a precious lesson: Anything could be lost, and till it does, you seldom realize how precious your possession is. That’s one of the reasons he keeps a handful of things around his apartment, a full cabinet of things he could easily reach out when he wanted. Dumping things are not easy for Jun—he likes to cling into the past because it was okay in the past and the present is not easy. 

Meanwhile Sho is the opposite. He speeds to get to the future, to the planned future. It’s something that has been haunting him since childhood. You’ll get better if you are trying so hard for the future. There’s not enough time to linger on the present, moreover the past, you need the future, you need it now, and then. And that’s why he passed the present without wanting taking on the scenery, in a leisure pace. For Sho is the planning that excites him. The panicked state of having things not going as plan and the realization that he is missing something in his plan is the situations that he hated the most. That’s why he’s an analyst; he wants to analyze the past and the present for a better future. 

*

“Say,” Jun begins, before he turns only to see Sho’s fully occupy with this soba tray.

Sho hums through his full mouth; he’s shoving more and more soba like a starved man. Jun knows that Sho missed lunch today—which is one of the reason they chose soba over full spread of yakiniku, but the pace is beginning to get too fast. 

“Would you please slow down a little bit, the soba is not getting anywhere and I don’t think it’s good for you stomach to get so many intake at a very short time.”

Sho hums through his full mouth again, before slowing down to chew what he has already shoved. His stuffed cheeks are full of soba and there’s a drip of soba dip on the corner of his lips.

Jun reaches with a tissue, dabbing it gingerly. “See, you’re a mess now.”

“Sorry,” is the first thing Sho says when he finally swallows his food. “I was so hungry and this is so good, so I was thinking of slurping the whole thing.”

“Lucky you, we decided against ramen tonight. You’d get a scalded tongue.”

“Yeah,” Sho says, now taking a deep breath. “I’m over my initial hunger. Sorry about that, really. You were saying?”

“What?”

Sho puts down the chopstick in effort to redeem himself for forgetting to share his attention between food and Jun. “You were trying to say something when my hunger eye-rolling distracted you from it.”

Dinner out together happens almost weekly. While Sho’s work obligation doesn’t lessen, his promotion demands him to be in the office more often than travelling. After frequent separation in the past, they have gotten better in setting their schedule, one that matches to both their time. Sometimes Sho works late into the night and Jun has the afternoon shifts. Sometimes Sho works late into the night and Jun got morning shifts and they agree on meeting somewhere, or at Jun’s apartment so they can spend the night together.

“Ah, I was going to ask a question,” Jun says, trying to remember what it was all about that sets him to pose a question. “What was that again?”

“Oh.” Sho chuckles. Now that he’s finished with his. “I’m terribly sorry then.”

“Your gluttony has completely destroyed my memory,” Jun says, rolling his eyes. He continues finishing his serving when the topic comes back into his mind. “Ah, I remember now. How about a movie night? For next week?”

“Are you talking about watching few on mine or your place or actually dressing up to go to a movie theater?”

“I don’t know that you need to dress up to go to a movie theater.”

“You cannot just go to a movie theater. You need to dress for it.”

“Sorry. For what?”

“Seriously?” Jun frowns disapprovingly. “Going to the movies is something that’s sacred.”

“Really? It doesn’t require a dress code or some sort, right? Of course, the last time I went to the movies was a date, but that was a date. If I want to go by myself, I can simply go in, say, my pajamas.”

Jun huffs in unmasked disgust. “What? You are actually saying that, aren’t you? Sho-san, you are totally a disgrace to the art of going to the movies.”

“I am?”

“You are. You see, I know you can go in your pajamas. They won’t stop you, but what’s the fun in that? Why bother going if you can watch the same film on DVD in your living room, _in_ your pajamas?”

“Well, almost nothing, except for the space.”

“You are helpless.” Jun says with a sigh. “See, I’m going to sound very nerdy here, so I hope you bear with me. And this is also your own fault for not having respect for the movie theater and what entails in visiting one.”

Sho nods with amusement; this is the first time he sees Jun being fiery and excited in explaining something—he is the one who usually goes on and on about one thing and Jun being a good listener then will debate his arguments, but the topic was always coming from him. This is good for a change and Sho wants to know how far they could stretch this.

“The experience of going to the movie theater is the most important point in the whole thing. You can watch the same movie at home, having rented the DVD. You can even go online and watch them on YouTube, sitting in front of your computer and then it plays. But going to the movie theater is another thing.

You are going to sit on a dark room, and experience a visual treat so intense that you are able to actually relate with and lose yourself into the movie. That’s why I said that it was the experience. It has always been the experience, the one that counts. 

And that’s why you couldn’t just go in your pajamas. It’d be an insult. You need to do the proper thing for this rite—because blimey, this is a rite for sure, one we’ve been having for a century and I hope to god that it will last another one,” Jun says, finishing with uneven breath. “See?”

Sho nods at the question, eyes shining with amusement and lust. “I don’t know what set you into those heated explanations but I hope you’re going to have it soon. I have never wanted to kiss you even more than I do right now.”

“You’re missing the point!”

“Believe me, I got your point. I got it crystal clear. I completely agree with your point now that you’ve taken the time for that lengthy—if I can say a bit absurd, but it’s okay—explanation. I totally got it,” Sho says. “It doesn’t mean that I am wrong in saying I want to kiss you senseless now.”

“I am pretty much opinionated about things and sometimes now proclaim it very so often seems to be the best choice.”

“That’d be the wrong choice if you’re with me. I want to hear your opinion and we can argue about it to infinity, but that’d be good, don’t you think?”

“Well, I have a thing or two about the things you’ve been talking endlessly for the past few weeks.”

“You mean the G20 stuff?” Sho asks in surprise.

“Well yeah.”

“You read global economy matters? Oh, Jun, you’ve been boning up or something?”

“I am not a heavy ready, or a practitioner like you, you know. But I read the newspaper—as much as time allows—and I was disagreeing with one or two of your points.”

“Can I just say two quick things before we can continue to the points you are referring about?” Sho beams at Jun’s confession. “First, you _were_ listening to me. You were really listening, weren’t you?”

Jun shrugs and takes his tea before averting Sho’s gaze. 

“I know some people find me boring, and loud, and talk too much, and then they don’t listen at all. But you endure it and you actually listened? Jun, you are doing things to me, I swear. And second, oh, don’t you let me forget to tell you the second.”

“Which is?”

“I want to kiss you.”

“You can’t say things like that. We are in a public restaurant. One that we frequent.”

“Okay. I want to kiss you, so let’s go home. Let’s go home. Let’s go home!”

“That’s not any better.” Jun laughs at Sho’s wide smile before giving in. “Oh, fine. Let’s go home and only _then_ you can kiss me.”

*


	9. Chapter 9

“G’morning.” Jun’s grunt welcomes Sho into the kitchen.

And Sho is rubbing his bleary eyes even harder as he is hit with a sense of happiness that he doesn’t know he craved before. There is Jun, in his old shirt and boxer, standing by the kitchen, hanging on the thread of sanity through his coffee cup, and greeting him with a sleepy pout.

What did he do to deserve this bliss? But with his effort to present a full-blown Christmas surprise, he couldn’t say that he didn’t expect to stay over at Jun’s.

“Morning,” Sho replies. He is not much a morning person, but in comparison to Jun he’s like the jolly Santa all of a sudden. “Could I have that, please?”

Jun gives a nod, before signaling that he already prepared a cup for Sho—all the man needs to do is to go walk toward the pot and pour himself his preferred amount of coffee. 

Sho hums his thank you, helping himself with a rim full of steaming black coffee. He then sits on the counter chair and enjoys the double hit he received both from the precious sight of Jun in the morning and the amazing coffee. 

The silence that fills the kitchen lingers, pleasantly, as the scent of coffee along with each other’s presence enveloping the small space. Sho is overly conscious of him being in a foreign place—sure he passed by the kitchen the night before but it was a complete blur; Jun was latching onto him pretty tight and he wasn’t there to survey the surrounding. 

Come morning, he has the opportunity to take a step back, going for a thorough look of the apartment. That everything is in muted color is Sho’s first impression. Jun probably doesn’t have too much time to fuss on the arrangement, but Sho could also deduce that the place has its own warmth. Few photos are placed carefully on the fridge’s door and that alone signifies a lot for Jun—families photos with smiley faces dominate the whole arrangement, and there’s one—one that Sho intends to ask later—of Jun with a girl. Probably his sister, Sho deduces, as Jun has brought up that he has a sister living just across Tokyo. 

He finishes half of his coffee with several of thoughts and questions he wants to ask Jun in mind. But for once, Sho doesn’t feel the pressing need to speak or ask them right away. He is here now, in Jun’s apartment, enjoying morning coffee with the man himself, and the time in the world could continue to spin for all he care.

“You want breakfast?”

Sho nearly jolts at the sudden question—he wasn’t sipping his coffee and for that he is grateful. “What?”

Jun frowns at him, still clinging to his coffee glass but looking like he’s having his life back. “Breakfast? You want?” 

Sho’s first thought is that Jun must be sore, and he is the one to blame, but now the man is standing here, so early in the morning, offering breakfast to Sho. 

Really, what did he do to deserve this utter bliss?

“I don’t really mind if you’re up to it.”

Jun shrugs. “Eggs okay?”

“Eggs would be fantastic,” Sho says, offering a grateful beam, because from the look of it, he’s going to get breakfast and this morning is turning to catch up for the better. “I could help you if you need me.”

“No,” Jun says. “I heard terrible stories that you’re helpless in the kitchen. And at the moment, my level of tolerance is almost zero. You stay out of my kitchen. I get you that egg. And then perhaps we can reassess the situation.”

Sho laughs at Jun’s petulant tone, and accepts the scold heartily. He probably will only turn everything into a mess—and he could easily deduce that this morning Jun is not the Jun you should mess around about. He leans against his chair and prepare himself for a close up show of Jun making him breakfast—this one is going to the unforgettable experience shelves for sure. 

Contrary to his frown and pout, Jun moves easily on the kitchen. Sho watches Jun—or trying to be nice to attempt on not staring too openly—going through his drawer, heating up the pan, and taking few eggs from the fridge. The actual treat begins when Jun then breaks the eggs and put them all in a bowl before whisking them with his chopsticks. Sho nearly sighs with content audibly as Jun stares into the bowl with full concentration and chops some onion to go along with the egg. The scent of heaven then comes attacking Sho’s sense when Jun puts the battered egg on the pan and begins to scramble them. He’ll be getting scrambled egg then, Sho thinks, no complain at all. 

Between few scrambles, Jun goes to put up two plates ready in front of Sho. Their eyes meet, and Sho beams thankfully at Jun, and if possibly he wants to pull Jun’s shirt and kiss him for being such a good host and, yes, boyfriend at so early in the morning.

“It’s not ready yet. Wait up.”

Sho nods and lets himself enjoy the last leg of the performance; it does seem like a performance to him, one that Jun starring. The eggs are ready in no time and Jun is plating them straight from the pan, putting more than half of the eggs on one plate and giving the other one a decent portion. 

“Thank you,” Sho couldn’t help to say when Jun is done. 

The man hums his response as he goes back to the sink to set the pan aside and getting utensils for them. 

Sho is ready to take the second plate, when Jun comes up with salt and pepper shakers set along with two forks, and then passing Sho one fork and the large portion. 

“I’m okay with that one.”

“No,” Jun says, gesturing Sho to start digging in. “That’s yours. I don’t eat much in the morning, so you need to help me out a bit if I don’t finish this.”

A kick of happiness lands smoothly at Sho’s chest. Jun who is not a morning person, who doesn’t eat much in the morning, who’s probably sore as hell from sex last night, is here in front of him, making him coffee and egg in the warm kitchen. If he hasn’t fallen, he would probably do right now. “Really?”

“Really,” Jun replies in straight tone. “Now, eat your eggs, Sho-san. It’s going to be cold soon.”

“Jun, I love you,” Sho finds himself saying the words that have been in his heart for a while but do not form well in his mouth. The words flow without a hitch—one fact that he doesn’t expected at all—and is said without hesitation. 

Jun flinches a bit but he recovers quickly. A smile is slowly forming in his face—a sight that fascinates Sho as one second Jun’s lips was curling into a tempting pout and on the next, his expression lights up all the way up to his eyes, nearly beaming, and it’s the most beautiful sight Sho has ever seen in his life. He wants this, he wants this for as long as he is allowed to have. 

“You haven’t even taken a bite.”

“I don’t have to,” Sho says, his fork hanging just above his plate. He’s going to dig in and take a bite soon. For all he knows, the eggs could taste horrible and he would probably still be declaring the same thing. One usually waits for the moment to come, to say the words, but he doesn’t have to, with Jun he doesn’t have to. 

The moment is this morning; it’s done and said—Sho has no regret. Or perhaps he would, but he doubts that the eggs would be terrible; Jun is not him after all.

“Perhaps you should,” Jun says as he slides the saltshaker toward Sho with a huge grin. “Plus I only have a slice of bread left. You’re getting the crust only, my hospitality is only as much.”

“I’d still love you.”

*

The restaurant is a quiet and nice place—on the contrary to Jun’s image of all busy restaurants in Shinjuku around dinner hour. And apparently, Sho, his stupid and weird date has the brain to make a reservation. They now are sitting on the corner table, just behind the counter, with a cold tea and waiting for their order to arrive. 

“I almost forgive you for making me going through those alleyways.”

“Almost?” Sho says, looking smug now that they are sitting on the restaurant. “Wait till you try the soba and then we can talk again not about you ‘almost’ forgiving me but you’re thanking me profusely.”

“I doubt that.”

“You haven’t tasted this soba yet. You will. Trust me.”

The first date was a great experience and Jun knows that Sho has a good knowledge when it comes to food, giving small explanations here and there and actually taking him to a good restaurant—it was so goo that Jun is itching to get to his time where he could take Sho, preferably still in his fancy suit to his usual ramen and gyoza joints and see his reaction. 

Which probably comes in form of a sneer—Jun wasn’t sure at that point—and then they could go into some cold shoulder state because Jun finally is the one who ruined their pace by bringing Sho to a futsu place. 

As if reading his mind, Sho leans up to give him a smile. “I can’t wait till it’s your turn.”

“Are you sure?” Jun answers a beat too fast. “I must admit that you know your place.”

“Well, if you are eating out 365 days a year, you have to get around much to know what’s good and what’s not.”

“365? Really, the whole time?”

“Well, you don't?”

“No, I don’t. I couldn't afford that. I cook sometimes. Simple food but that gives me some slack from having to go to a restaurant.”

“You—“ Sho says, eyes glazed with amazement and question, “—cook?”

“Yes.”

“You cook?” Sho repeats, reaching Jun’s hand to hold it tight as if trying to shake the man into telling the truth, which is the truth anyway. “You cook, Jun?”

“I do. Yes, I do,” Jun says with confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know anyone who cooks, like food for dinner or some sort?”

“What? Didn’t your mother cook or something? An aunt? An uncle? Grandma?”

Sho laughs loudly. “No. No one in my family cook, so it’s always been take out or something from the restaurant. Or close to cooking was my Grandma, that was a spot on guess, participated in town cooking event as a judge, and then brought the remaining food home. 

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“No. And now you know.” Sho beams at Jun. “And now you know how to get to my heart.”

“I only cook something simple, pasta, onigiri, or sandwiches. Nothing fancy really.”

“Pasta? You make pasta? As in the red sauce?”

“Why are you drooling now? We are going to eat in few minutes. Could you please?”

“Like pasta pasta? You are truly heaven sent, you know that,” Sho says, putting his hand on his chest as if trying to calm his heartbeat. “And onigiri. Holy god, I don’t even think I’ve seen anyone make onigiri before. I always grab them from the conbini.”

“You are one weird fellow for sure.”

“I’ll eat anything, simply anything you cook.”

Jun rolls your eyes. “Don’t sell your self sort, Sho-san. And I’m not that good, so you can stop being excited.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“You stop that,” Jun says. He notices that the waiter is coming to their way with two trays of food. “Here comes our soba. First let me be the judge of this soba you’ve been talking about all day and we could go on from there.”

“You do that.” Sho smiles widely, welcoming the waiter and at the same time accepting Jun’s challenge. “This soba is definitely not going to disappoint you.”

 _And so are you it seems_ , Jun wants to say. But he only smiles back and welcome the waiter with their soba tray. 

*

At Jun’s spontaneous idea—not that Sho mind--one day they sat in the park during lunch hour like any other office workers, sharing Jun's bento even if they are bundled in thick winter coats.

“I’m not so fond of outdoor date, and you know the reason, but I have this for you, and I know it’s cold out here but can we at least share this in peace? I can treat you hot chocolate or some steaming espresso when we’re done?”

Sho doesn’t refuse but he’s still protesting through lunchtime. Not about the weather because that’s just a small matter, but because he didn’t have time to prepare anything. ”But I'm munching half of your food.“ ”That's okay. It'll be an excuse for me to get double ramen serving tonight. They are going to be amazing with beers.” 

They stay in silence for a while, and Sho hasn't had a decent home-cooked meal in ages and it feels heavenly. “The ramen will be on me. I’ll go search some new ones. But not tonight. I can't tonight. I need to be somewhere. I need to—“ Jun chuckles at Sho’s sudden realization. "That's okay. Ramen is not going to go anywhere." 

Sometimes Jun couldn't help to wonder. He has his own schedule. He couldn’t possibly have free lunch time every single day. There will always be days where he was too caught up on things that he missed lunch. There were days when he couldn’t predict what's going to happen by midday, he turns down Sho’s invitation from the beginning. 

But Sho’s a different story. He’s always available whenever Jun agrees to meet the man on certain lunchtime, or one night. He doesn’t have any complaints and it’s very rare for Jun to see Sho running late—while he keeps on having rain check or guilty conscience when he needs to let Sho knows that he’ll be showing up rather late. 

*

It is not until the beginning of March that Sho managed to set aside a good time to take Jun to the promised ramen dinner. Yet, Sho has his phone beeps constantly when they were together and Sho only takes a reluctant glance and forwards everything to voicemail. 

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Jun asks, turning just in time to see Sho shoving his phone to his bag.

“Nah, it’s okay. They can wait. I’m having dinner. With you.”

Their order arrives and after Sho lets Jun fiddling with the plate arrangement, they say their grace and digs in. 

“Am I bothering you with work?” Jun says when they are already slowing down with the initial slurps. “I mean, I do notice that you have been getting lots of phone calls or text messages during our time together, but you never answer them. Aren’t you neglecting work? I don’t mean to fuss around but you can take the time. I don’t mind. After all you have to deal with me rescheduling constantly because of work,” Jun says. “And on the other hand how’s work?”

Sho laughs, deep and loud, with the sound that Jun have become so fond of, eyes wrinkled shut. Jun feels something fluttering on his stomach and finds himself chuckling at the open display of amusement. 

“Work is fine. Thank you for asking,” Sho says, still a bit wheezing from the laugh. “But you’re not bothering me at all. I guess you never see me when it’s hectic and all, right?”

“I never do. But you seem like a terrible boss. Or something like that.”

“You know I am not terrible. Not good enough perhaps, but nowhere near terrible.”

“But you do have that annoying scheduling prowess.”

“You’re too kind, really.” But Sho flushes a bit at the concealed praise. “I am not only dealing with domestics’ clients but also with foreign ones. That’s why night is actually a slow time for me. You should have seen me in the morning, I would be a total mess and I could kill you with my threatening glare.”

“Really? How long have you been working on this company?”

“Ah, we never talked about that, right?” Sho picks up his chopsticks and goes for another piece of _gyoza_. He takes his time chewing before answering. “By next November, it’s going to be 8 years.”

Jun can’t hold his surprised gasp. “8 years. Are you a senior partner or something?”

“You’d think it’s a very long time but it never felt that long.” Sho smiles at Jun’s reaction. “Still 8 years is really something. I think I need to celebrate later. And no, I’m not a senior partner. Not yet.”

“8 years is amazing, it’s… I’ve been working for the force for 4 years and it sometimes felt like an eternity, endless curse. But you’ve been at this for so long. What’s the catch? Why do you think you’re doing all this?”

“I do love the pressure of reading flows of global economy.”

“Seriously?” Jun laughs at that, and then his laugh dies down slowly as he sees that Sho is only sending him an amused look. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Sho takes another bite from the _gyoza_ plate. “It is damn hard work, that’s for sure, but everything is detailed and tiring and satisfying. I love it.” 

Jun has to smile at that. 

Sho laughs this time, his chopstick mid-air. “I never actually said that. Sure I enjoyed it, but I never said it out loud. And now that I did, it doesn’t sound fake at all, it doesn’t sound forced. I do love doing analysis.”

“I think I envy you.”

“But you—“

“No. I mean. I envy that you can actually say you love your work, with no conviction at all.”

Sho doesn’t ask further, but there’s a question hanging on the air. But he’s not going to press further, not tonight.

*

They are lounging at Jun’s living room sofa. The slightly open veranda’s window allowing the summer night breeze in, lulling them further with comfortable silence. The late night TV variety on the background is playing nearly muted. Few empty cans of beer are on the other side of the coffee table. Neither of them wants to move to the bedroom: Jun with his book just at the end of the chapter and Sho with his tablet, watching the latest news from the other side of the world. 

Jun finally sets his book down, eyes closing as his fingers dog eared the end of the chapter. He twists slightly so now his legs are crossed on Sho’s lap. “Hey, do you remember the bag woman I told you about last week?”

Sho frowns and then give a small nod. “Sort of. The one who nearly punched you with said bag, right?”

“Yes,” Jun says, with a grin. “I just remember that I told you about her and she came by at the counter again today.”

“And then punched you?” Sho says, still not looking up from his tablet.

“Sho-san, it’s not about the action, it’s about the story behind it.”

“The story of her punching you?”

Jun rolls his eyes. “Do you want me to tell the story or not?”

“Sorry,” Sho says, smiling now that he put down his tablet, setting it aside next to him, and gives Jun his full attention, his hand rubbing Jun’s feet. “Sorry. So she punched you after all.”

“I know it sounds hilarious to you but I was the one who has to be in the battle field.”

“What happened?” Sho seems to sober up with the statement and prompts Jun to continue his story. “She came by again today and?”

“If you’re still joking around about her punching me, I’m going to get up and leave,” Jun says. Sho’s hands are doing amazing things to his feet and he leans against the cushion and continues his story. “So she came by and, finally tell the complete version of her story. With _the_ bag.”

Sho hums his encouragement for Jun to continue while steadily giving perfect pressure on Jun’s heels, “And?” 

*

Jun’s job is actually quite simple. 

People will come to the counter desk when they are either in the area of Shinjuku or—mostly—meeting people around the area. (which is pretty much the same but Jun has been well trained to not question people in distress). 

The biggest problem is still his patience. Being a part of the police force—or that’s what he likes to tell himself—the challenge was to have him providing service for those he served. And those people, the ones who come to his counter is the one who needs the most help.

Aside from Sho mostly the old ladies, the endearing ones, are the one who lost their stuff. Mostly it’s umbrella or sometimes wallets or charms. He’s mostly help them fill the form, and then they could go home to at least feel better because if the police force found them they could claim their stuff back later. 

“What are you doing when you’re not in charge of the counter?” Sho once asked.

“Paperwork. Tons of it.”

“Really? I thought you guys have much more interesting job description, something involving patrol and police car?”

“Yeah, one time it does involve mini skirt, but that was ages ago.”

Sho looks apologetic for once. “I didn’t mean to word that as an insult.”

“And I’m not taking it as one. It’s just… People have their own opinion and image of us and most of them are not incongruent with what we’re doing at work.”

And that’s pretty much it. Some people—including his sister—is teasing him about it, but Jun is undeterred. What’s wrong with wanting to help people? He doesn’t need a fancy and stressful job to do so. He could be in the police force—not that he doesn’t want to be the kind of detective; it’s nice, at this point of his life, to have such a steady job. 

It wasn’t like that before. He had this turn to feel insecure and unhappy. He was hoping for something for fancy, something with more pressure but two months trial at the Lost and Found department has made up his mind pretty solid. The choice is actually between that and the Traffic Department. Jun wants to be off the street for that purposes and then contrary to the popular choice he chose to be in the department.

Although after getting a good grip of the work rhythm, his assignments grow complicated. Cataloguing lost items is not something easy to do yet Jun loves the complication. He didn’t know that he would enjoy working with computer software before but once he learned and got the hang of it, Jun is now the one who mastered the program best in the office branch. The catalogue is pretty savvy considering; and it’s nothing fancy then again, it’s easy to navigate and all. And it’s one of the safest applications available; even browsing on it could be done by public search.

*


	10. Chapter 10

It was only after Jun’s birthday celebration when Sho finally works his gut to ask Jun up to his apartment—his fancy one, mind you, for a glass of coffee. Both of them know that there would be very little coffee consumed that night, but Jun answers the question with a simple smile. ‘Sure’.

For a small quarter in a six-story condo, the apartment is modest. Jun has expected—seeing the front entrance and the fancy lobby—seeing dark colors and (all the things that a usual busy single man’s apartment has; not that he has a lot to compare but he is a very specific man when it comes to a place to live.)

The light was soft and warm, and inviting and Jun couldn’t help to suspect that Sho has put the effort and been hoping for the night to go as planned.

“You are pretty confident for a man who fidgets while inviting me to come over.” Jun says. “It’s a nice place.”

“Well, I have been trying very hard to work my courage and invite you over.” The dim lighting doesn’t hide Sho’s flush. “Do you want a drink or something? I have beers, or wine, or pretty much anything.”

Jun knows that the man probably won’t have anything in fridge on a good day but he’s willing to set that comment aside for now. “I’ll have a glass of wine.”

“Coming right up,” Sho says, turning to the kitchen and leaving Jun standing in the living room. “You can, uhm, I don’t know. Look around or something.”

“I will,” Jun says with a smile. He finds himself standing in the middle of the room with his backpack still in his hand. Sho must be pretty nervous; he didn’t even offer to take Jun’s coat. Jun chuckles in realization and then goes to set his backpack in the floor and deal with his coat. 

It is a warm night but one couldn’t be sure with an autumn day, so Jun wrapped himself in layers of clothes in the morning. He was beginning to find it too bulky by the time they finished their dinner but now in Sho’s place, he’s feeling good and fine.

He can hear clinks of glasses set up and then few muted sounds of fridge being opened and shut. He imagines Sho busily fighting with corkscrew, is tempted to head over to the kitchen and put the man out of his misery, and decides to leave it to the man.

The soft lighting really helps to accentuate the room; it seems lived in and Sho has diligently, Jun could only assume, put everything in its place. There’s no scattered paper, old books, or even stacks of DVDs lying around across the room. Jun can also smell faint warm citrus refresher on the room. Sho must have this cleaned before—a thought that sends him chuckling again. Serious is something he pegs Sho from the beginning but this is taking things to another level; the man _is_ serious with him.

There’s no way that all things are this tidy. And seeing from how Sho operates in these last two months, Jun could conclude that it takes a lot of efforts.

Jun compares Sho’s place to his apartment.

“Could we see the balcony? I bet you have amazing view.”

“That’s one of the reasons I choose this place. Let’s go then.”

Two small veranda chairs are set on the far right. It’s dark but the space sends Jun’s thought instantly to the idea of a barbeque party on a sunny afternoon. He sighs when the night scenery—an amazing night view of Tokyo, from such height—welcomes him as he steps further to the rail. He stops by the rail and stands there still for a few moment. It’s not something extra special, it’s not that Jun has never seen such scenery; it’s the fact that he’s extremely conscious of Sho’s standing behind him, just by the sliding glass door, with their wine glasses, of the time that he is going to spend here and of the full realization that this is going to be the first night they’re spending together.

Faint and distant traffic noise is blending into the night together with the fading heat of autumn night. It’s not actually warm enough to leave their coat inside but at the moment Jun is content to stand there on his parka dan jeans, on the welcoming of the soft wind. He turns and finds Sho, just as he predicted, standing by the door with a small smile. “You have this everyday and you still go out night after night for a meal?”

“Call me ungrateful or anything. But being in a balcony isn’t actually the way I unwind for the day.”

“The scenery is beautiful. As expected of a luxury mansion, deep center in Minato. It doesn’t have to be quiet high here to get a gorgeous view.”

“It’s nothing,” Sho says dismissively but Jun can see the slight flush on his cheek. “Here’s your wine. And we can use the veranda chairs.”

Jun reaches out to accept the glass from Sho’s outstretched hand, brushing deliberately on the back of Sho’s hand. “Thank you.”

Sho smiles, in the dim light Jun can only see the corner of the man’s eyes crinkled but it is already telling, and goes to sit at the far corner of the chair. 

Jun follows, taking the other chair and then they are leaning against the back of the chair, eyes focusing on a certain spot faraway beyond Tokyo night scenery.

“You are the one who’s gorgeous today, you know,” Sho says, without turning back to Jun. 

He sips his wine slowly. Gone is the rush and the nervousness. Sho has Jun right here where he wants Jun to be, now he knows he can have Jun since the man is just within his reach. 

This is no longer about Jun the police officer. This is no longer about Sho the international company analyst. This is just between them. Two men who is sitting together in a balcony sipping their wine together, trying to keep their promises to each other.

“You’re just saying that so I’d stay the night.”

“Well, true. Does it work?”

“You’ll be the first to know.” Jun laughs at the direct question; he’s been thinking about this for a while too. They do need to carve some time so they could spend the night together, and now that the time comes, he’s not entirely nervous about it. He has imagined a much more complicated setting, with both of them—or at least himself—being a nervous wreck who tries to make sure that everything runs smooth. 

Perhaps this so-called trial is important enough to be nervous about and that should be telling.

Jun moves his wine glass to his left hand and reaches for Sho’s left with his right hand. It’s not visibly shaking, Jun can be proud of that, but he knows that Sho knows so there shouldn’t be any problem. Sho shifts his hand a little bit when Jun’s wraps the back of his palm with his. The hint of uncertainty comes back to Jun’s mind for a moment but the coldness of Sho’s hand is telling him the opposite. Then Sho turns his hand and now their hands are linked, and Jun is overwhelmed by the wave of relief surging through his body; he did think that he wasn’t nervous, that they both has agreed on this, but still, the anticipation is probably worth the wait. 

“It does work,” Jun says. 

And this time it’s Sho who’s laughing. “I hope it’s because my charm, not the view nor the wine.”

“Well, whichever it is, you’ll be the first one to know,” Jun says. “Say, how much longer we should sit here before you kiss me?” 

“I was waiting for the hints.”

“If I’m accepting your invitation to go up here for a glass of wine is not a hint, I don’t know what is.”

Sho then sets aside his glasses, putting it aside on the floor a bit far from the chair before he turns to Jun and takes his. Sho sets Jun’s glass on next to his and then finally facing Jun with a serious face, still keeping their hands together. 

“As I said before, this is us trying, right?”

Jun nods. He doesn’t know where this will lead too—he sure hopes they get into the kissing part soon but Sho appears to have another thing to do first. So be it.

“And I want to do this right? Am I doing this right so far?” Sho asks. “Only you can answer that.”

“You don't have to—“

“I do. I do have to be careful. Because this isn’t about me anymore. This is about us. I don’t need to do this if you don’t want to do this in the first place. We can take our time. We can have dates, in public. I am enjoying so far, being with you at the end of my day, at the end of the week, just a short time compared to what I have wanted, yet so precious.”

“Sho-san.”

“I’m not done,” Sho cuts him. “I’m partially scared that if we get this far, we’re going to have even more to lose. And I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to take that risk. But I also am curious of what we can do together. So…”

“You’re done now?”

Sho nods, smiling weakly. “I’m such a nerd.”

“Yeah, aside from what I suspect analyzing this to such extent, you must have been planning this all along, right?” 

“I did warn you about me being like this. Jun, this is nothing to what I think I am going to be later, but if you want to try to meet in the middle, I would do my best.”

“You’re always doing your best, aren’t you” 

“At least I can say I’m trying.”

Jun sighs as he looks down and sees their hands linked together. Compromise is something that he usually has no problem on doing. Yet it’s usually about professional work and none of personal. 

He lifts his gaze and meets Sho’s; and now in the dim light of the veranda light, with the wind blowing Sho’s hair into a mess, Jun can clearly see the earnestness, the serious eyes, the worry on Sho’s eyes. He could only hope that the same worry and earnestness are reflected through his own eyes

“I know you’re trying,” Jun begins, “and I’m also trying. We are trying. We’re doing great so far, don’t you think?”

“We are. Doing great. You are doing great, for keeping up with me.”

“It's only been few months, and we’ve been good so far. Don’t you think it’s time for more?”

“I’m ready when you are.”

“You’re too kind to me, really.”

“You haven’t seen the real me yet. I’m so much worse.”

“Well then,” Jun says. He pulls Sho closer so they are nose to nose, breathing each other breath. “Let’s see. Let’s see together.”

“I’ve been wanting to do this since the day I met you.” Sho’s hand goes up to touch Jun’s cheek, softly, experimentally, and then smoothing the falling hair. “My fingers in your hair.”

Jun closes his eyes and his breath catches at the simple confession; it’s Sho’s turn to start. He has said what’s on his mind, giving permission that Sho doesn’t even realize he was asking. Tonight is theirs and now that they are in the same page, they could do whatever they want. And Jun intends to make sure they’re doing things together—all night if possible. He then moves his free hand to wrap himself closer on Sho, circling to reach to Sho’s back and begin to rub teasingly. “I’ve been wanting to try sitting on your lap.”

Sho lets out a laugh and lets their intertwined hands to give in to the request. “Come here then.” He then takes a firm hold on Jun’s waist and hoists the man to land on his lap. 

“I shouldn’t swoon over this, but I think I am.”

“You are irresistible, Jun,” Sho says. “And now that we’re here, can I start on kissing you senseless?”

Despite his position and his erratic heartbeat, Jun lets out a snort and rolls his eyes. “You still need a permission from the man that’s voluntarily landing on your lap?”

“Well, I was trying to be polite.”

Jun rocks his hips forward and feels Sho’s hard on under his pants meeting his. “Polite, huh?”

Sho chuckles. “The things you do to me.”

Jun is not feeling on waiting any longer. “Stop talking and kiss me.”

“You are so beautiful, you know,” Sho says, ignoring Jun’s request. Instead he frames Jun’s face with both his hand now, staring right into the eyes. “I’m glad I waited this long and made this extra special. Because you _are_ special.”

Jun closes his eyes and wets his lips. Sho could talk all he wants, really, but he needs to kiss the man soon or else he’s not going to have a self-restraint and ends up ruining this night. Sho should stop teasing. “Sho.”

“Open your eyes then,” Sho says, and Jun immediately complies. “I want to see you when I kiss you.”

The second Jun focuses on Sho’s eyes, noticing the laugh wrinkles, the long eyelashes, and the desire reflected on them, he knows that he’s fallen, gone, and owned.

And then their lips meet.

Sho’s lips, wet and warm, meets Jun’s with confident stride. Jun presses closer toward Sho and locks his hand on Sho’s back—not wanting to let go. Sho does the same thing—pulling Jun closer, making them pressed flush and devouring on each other mouth. Sho nibbles softly on Jun’s lips, sucking and pulling, and Jun wants more and thrusts his tongue inside Sho’s mouth—and Sho’s rhythm of going slow flew out of the balcony.

Soon it becomes a breathless war. Sho wants nothing to kiss Jun right back with more fervor and Jun gives nothing back but retaliation of deeper exploration. 

They soon surface, with Sho’s pulling away first to only find Jun’s trying to urge him back, shifting his weight to pin Sho and gets what he wants. 

Sho pants as he holds Jun’s head steady, wanting his praise to be heard. “God, that was totally worth the wait.”

“And you still have capacity to talk?” Jun says, eyes close, lips wet and wanting nothing more that repeat performance. “Come here, you.”

Sho doesn’t resist when Jun pulls him back, crushing their lips for a much more passionate second kiss. The first one was a little bit daring for an experimental taste, but they have done enough skirting around with no real kiss so far—those cheek kisses at the end of their short dates could only last them so far.

Jun retreats this time, for no less than few seconds. He shifts in Sho’s lap, trying to gain a firmer hold of the man, before diving in again for another breathless session. Sho doesn’t fare better. Jun has taken a surprise out of him—he knows that they are in the same footing here in this new relationship, but he wasn’t expecting exploded passion and want all of a sudden—he is liking the way this goes.

“Jun,” Sho says, when he finally manages to hold Jun’s head a little bit far to give him space. What he doesn’t expect is that Jun refuses to be held and dives into his jaw for open-mouthed wet kisses. “Oh. Fuck.”

Jun hums happily, knowing that he got Sho under his control right now and proceeds to hold on tight and make his way to kiss up to Sho’s ear. “You’re swearing. That’s a good sign.”

Sho keeps one of his hold tight on Jun’s hair, pulling when it’s too much for him to bear, and the other hand is going down to Jun’s back and reaches the belt of the man’s jeans. He begins to pull the shirts out, trying to get a better hold than just a sweater and shirt. When he managed to pull the shirt out, his hand finds Jun’s flesh and received a bite on the back of his ear. “Fuck.”

Jun’s lips curls into a smirk, and he moves his hands down, mimicking the same thing that Sho’s been trying to do to him but in the front area. He finds a button of Sho’s shirt and begins working his way up to get the shirt open. As his hands find the rim of Sho’s undershirt, he groans with disappointment on Sho’s ear. “You wear too many clothes.”

“No one has complained about it.” Sho lets out a breathless laugh, his hands now kneading Jun’s back in a soothing manner, as he tries to think about what’s next. 

“Well, I’m filing one, then,” Jun says. Now they are breathing each other face. “Are we going to do it here? Not that I’m complaining because that’s hot. But can we get to a bed, where I can properly let you do improper things to me?”

“You,” Sho says, crushing his mouth for a quick wet kiss to Jun. “Your mouth is lethal at times like this.”

“You haven’t seen anything. I’m so much better.”

“Let’s get inside then,” Sho says, after another kiss. “Hold on to me, please.”

Jun wraps his hands tightly behind Sho’s head, thinking that they are going to stand and then heading to the bedroom attached to each other, him walking backward as Sho leads the way—which means that he could steal a kiss or two, driving Sho even more impatient as they are getting to the warm and comfortable bed. He certainly doesn’t expecting Sho to heft himself up from the lap onto his hold and begins to carry him inside.

“Oh, fuck.”

Sho laughs, as he secures his hold on Jun’s waist. “Ah, good. You’re swearing. That’s a sign.”

“You are really something,” Jun says, as his head is spinning from lust and content. He dives in for small kisses along Sho’s now exposed collarbones and whispers, “I’d still kick you if you bump me into a wall though.”

“You’re making me not thinking straight,” Sho says, with a whine as Jun sucks on a spot near his shoulder. The man keeps on walking and they are back to the living room. “Hold it. Just hold it for while, until we get inside.”

The request goes unheard as Jun keeps landing soft kisses along the trail he has made before. He lets his kisses light, knowing that it won’t do them good if Sho falls—but this feeling of being hefted into Sho’s arm, while they were kissing is something that Jun knows he won’t forget for the rest of his life. 

*


	11. Chapter 11

To Jun’s delight, Sho takes him to a _nabe_ restaurant on the first week of the year. The weather has been nothing better than sleet and rain. Jun would have declined the dinner invitation if he hadn’t recognize the name of Sho’s restaurant pick as one of the top restaurants in Tokyo. 

“I don’t sleep on other people’s bed.”

“What?”

“You asked what’s the limit for me,” Jun says. He takes Sho’s empty bowl and scoops him another serving. “That’s one of the limits. I do have another but if you’re asking, I think that’s one of the limit that I could not negotiate.”

“Did that mean, you never share a bed with—?”

“I did share a bed with others, but it should be on my terms,” Jun says, now finding even more rhythms in the sensitive topics. “I think you should know that.”

“Is it really necessary? What does it call, those sense of being in one’s own space?”

“Well, I take it very seriously. And it’s only fair for me to start telling you this now, right? We don’t know where this is leading—even if I really want to be fucked by you before we need to end this—and this is just a thought. Well, you asked.”

“I did, yes. But I wasn’t expecting—“ Sho says, now the awkward is on him. “I was thinking something like not meeting on everyday kind of limit, or something more into sexual acts. I didn’t expect you are going straight to the point and bringing up the bed.”

“Again, you asked.” Jun shrugs. They were having a good time at dinner and now suddenly their conversation gets awkward just because Sho wanted to talk about something even more serious. It doesn’t really settle well with him. They do need to talk about this though—for Jun to consider his bed quirk is something that is not be taken lightly. “And how about you?”

“Me. I am trying to think something that could level your bed quirk but I don’t think I have any.”

“You are a man of many quirks, I’m sure. You cannot look beautiful and perfect like you usually are if you’re not quirky.”

“Quirky isn’t actually the word for it, I guess,” Sho begins. This might be one of the things he is most afraid of in other relationship, but Jun has taken the step and bringing up one of the most bizarre quirks Sho has ever heard. He needs to balance things up a little, and perhaps Jun wouldn’t think of him as a weirdo after all. “My turn then. Let’s see. If I have to put one of my worst qualities, it’d be scheduling.”

Jun snorts at the Sho’s last sentence. “You are going to cheat on me, right now? It can't be about schedule, right? Something that simple?”

“No, no. I’m not cheating, not at all. But you know, I could be pretty horrible when it comes to scheduling. And it’s not simple at all. Since we’re talking things that are limits for us, I suppose it’d be better for you to know about this now. I could explain this right now in a straightforward manner, and you do not have to experience this with me because I have been told repeatedly, by anyone that has the chance to experience it, that I am extremely horrible and shit. That’s their words, especially the expletive, not mine.”

“What could possibly be extremely horrible and shit, then?”

“Well, since this works better with example, so let me set up one. Let’s say, an out of town trip. I am hoping to have one with you soon, you know, and by telling you this I perhaps will destroy my chance of ever going somewhere with you, but that’s what a quirk should be perhaps.”

“Would it help if I promise you now that I’m still going to try?” Jun says. “One time perhaps, but I’m not going to scratch the opportunity to have a day trip with you. If it turns out to be that extremely terrible and shit, we can talk about it after.”

“That helps a lot. Can I squeeze your hands for once, you know, moral boost or something like that?”

Jun laughs warmly at Sho’s question and reaches his hand forward first, to give Sho’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You are worrying too much, I’m beginning to see that. And it’s cute.”

“What I’m about to say is not cute at all, but I am thankful for the boost,” Sho says, flipping his hand up to give a squeeze back to Jun’s hand. Then he lets the hand go, fold his hands on the table, and continues his story. “So, something simple, which is not simple actually, but let’s say, a drive Yokohama.”

Jun smiles. “I have never been on a drive to Yokohama. I haven’t even considered that is going to happen in my life.”

“Would you stop with the commentary?” Sho says. “It’s making things worse for me. Now that I know you want that I would only get more excited in scheduling things out.”

“Sorry,” Jun says. “Go on. I’m going to be here sipping my espresso then.”

“You do that.” Sho takes a deep breath and exhales with a flourish gesture. “So, Yokohama. I would begin with the general information of Yokohama, and knowing that I want to take you there will usually get my nerves even up, I need to come up with not only a perfect plan but the most perfect plan.

“This quirk of me being perfect is not a laughing matter. I fully realize that I could be extremely horrible and shit about it. So, I would lay up a mental map, which then will materialize in the form of long checklist of destination. 

“At this point, I probably would love to take you the China town, go walking on the pier, or perhaps a museum or two, or then a nice fancy dinner at the end of the day.”

“I would love that, Sho-san.”

“Jun!”

“Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help it. Go on.”

“Order another espresso or something else to occupy you but I’m not to be disturb by comments at this point.”

“Very well. No more words from me until you finished this.”

“Good. So where was I? Ah, nice fancy dinner at night. With those list in mind, I’m going to start worrying about the timetable and the possible route. How do we get there, how am I going to keep up with things, everything has to be perfect, and I would definitely loosing sleep for a week or so prior to the trip.

“And then, just to make things worse for myself, I would start an thorough research on everything Yokohama. Said research could involve talking to colleagues and friends who have been there, going through myriad of travel websites, or even go as far as timing the whole thing myself—buying guidebooks and then giving a run of mental simulation.”

Jun only nods this time. 

“So, you probably is already getting glimpse of the intensity, but it’s not going to stop there. I speak this out of experiences and this has happened before, so you can consider this is a true story.

“To make the matter worse, and because this is the part where everyone gets to complain about me being extremely terrible and shit, is that when the trip is actually happening, I get so wound up on the schedule that I have been so meticulously worked on. I wouldn’t allow things to go astray, and it’s terrible—see, even I myself is labeling this as terrible and shit, people who travelled with me must be on the verge of smashing my head off the nearest flat surface.

“If there’s unexpected traffic jam, I’m going to swear to the moon and back. That would mean that I’m having an internal seizure for letting things goes unplanned. I know you’re probably want to say, right now, that I couldn’t plan a traffic jam, but I should’ve seen it coming, and when I don’t I’m going to beat myself so hard that you won’t find me a good companion any longer.”

Jun nods again, setting his espresso cup aside, and now leaning back against his chair and continue to intently listening to Sho’s story.

“See, that should scare you a lot. But I’m not done yet. So, I wasn’t kidding when I said that you should have another drink or something, because now that I’ve started, I don’t think I could stop.”

“I’m fine. You can take your time, I’m listening. The restaurant is going to close up on 11 though, I hope you’ve finished your story by then.”

“And that’s why you already are so different with the others,” Sho says, with the first smile forming on since the moment he began his explanation. “I’m still holding on to that tiny hope that this night would still ends in my favor.”

Jun makes a gesture for Sho to continue and then falls into silence again.

“I’ve been telling you all the horrible aspects of scheduling and now I need to give a little bit about the upside of the story. It will end happily thought—it supposed to end happily. I will not put so much effort if I don’t actually care in the first place. So, the more I care about my travel companion, the more I’d be all hyped up in planning.

“Now, to make it up to you, let me just say that by planning of having a trip with you to Yokohama, I would also guarantee that you would have the best experience of the town. I would have made sure of that. And then the best food, because if we can go to the best available food, why the hell not. The famous and fancy ones, or the street vendors and everything else; I don’t mind the choice, I just want the experience.”

Sho stops a while, reaching for his water glass, and taking large gulp. When he’s done, he takes another deep breath and stares at Jun as the man leans against his chair and listening intently. “Have I scared you for good? Have I scared you a little? I hope the answer is no for my second question. And if so, could I offer you a trip to Yokohama sometime in the future, because by talking this out, I am having ideas of where I should take you the next time I need to go to Yokohama.”

Jun finally breaks his serious face and laughs loudly. “You are really something, Sho-san. I suppose you’re done with your long ass story and now I can comment on it.” 

Sho nods uncertainly. He has brought so many unspoken sides of his to the table tonight—just a usual night when he takes Jun to somewhere a bit fancy so they could have privacy. And now he doesn’t quite sure of where they were standing; Jun can shout at his face, of him being a weirdo and all, or something else. Sho is hoping on the something else, but he couldn’t be sure. 

The feeling of uncertainty is rare for him and for the first time since ever, Sho doesn’t know how this would end. It’s exasperating and exciting at the same time. 

Now it’s Jun’s turn to flip the next card, and Sho, unexpectedly, doesn’t feel as much as worry as he usually has when other people has to make the decision for him. They are together in this anyway, so perhaps it’s Jun’s turn to do something for him. 

“That was some crazy stories you told me,” Jun begins. He smiles when he sees the gaze of Sho’s eyes turn down in defeat. “But I can say that I understand.”

Sho looks up so fast that Jun almost hears a crack on the man’s neck, with a hopeful beam. “Really? Oh god, really?”

“Well, not really. But kind of really.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That means that I would love to go to Yokohama with you, with you planning things like that,” Jun says, “but I also feel irritated at your story. Trip is supposed to be fun, and from what you have told earlier, I hardly see any fun in that.”

“Oh.”

“But, I can see that _you_ are having fun, so probably that’d be worth to try.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Really,” Jun says. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“I thought you’re going to shout in my face and leave me here with the bill.”

Jun laughs and Sho feels relief washing through his body; they are probably new at this trial out thing but they are trying—that’s a good sign. 

“Not that I’m planning to let you take the bill though. This is my treat, I’ve already said that.”

“And since you’re being nice into treating you here, there’s no way I’m going to leave you here without kissing you goodnight.”

Sho’s face lightens up even more. “I’m getting a goodnight kiss?”

“Not now, you.” Jun rolls eyes. “Later.”

“I can live with that,” Sho says, realizing that now he feels the flutters back into his chest and the night doesn’t seem to be a total flop. “I’m going to ask for the bill so we can leave and then you can kiss me goodnight.”

“When I said later, I mean way later.” 

“Do you want something else?”

Jun takes a glance into his watch. He’s full, warm, and happy. It’s just a bit after 10 and the night still young. But they both have early shift tomorrow and it’s probably better to call it a night since they need to get home in the cold night. “No. I’m good. Shall we?”

*

“Are you always this strict about time?” Jun ask, before trying to smooth his question with an addition. “Not that I’m complaining. It’s amazing to see you like that, like the other day, but I do think that you might be going a bit overboard with it.”

“Well...”

“You are actually that strict?”

“Jun,” Sho cuts him, “I thought you were asking me a question yet you’re already forming your own opinion before I managed to answer that.”

“The answer already reached your face right before your mouth forming the sound.”

“That’s not good,” Sho says. “I’m not supposed to let emotion shows. It’s bad for work.”

“This is not work, and it’s good for us. It’s actually really good for us. Or for me, or whichever works best. That means that I can read you, right?” Jun says. “And before you go on with long talks about that, let’s just settle this and have me admit that you can read me pretty well, too. We are then even—which you’ve always wanted. So there.”

“And people said that I’m talkative.”

“They probably haven’t met me. But even if they do, they won’t have me talking at length like this—“

“—because the only time you’re like this is with me.” Sho finishes Jun’s sentence with a smile. “I like that. I like where this is going, even if I vaguely remember that we were talking about something else not five minutes ago.”

Jun feels the flush creeps on his cheeks and tries to ignore it.

*

“Do you want to try this out? Together? For a longer time frame.”

Now that’s a simple question at a very unassuming time indeed. Jun almost rolls his eyes but he stops the urge at the last second because when he stares back into Sho’s eyes, he could only see solid determination with hints of uncertainty. 

They have just known each other for less than a month. To be exact, it’s only been 24 days and this is their second lunch. He was suspecting there’s going to be other 24 days cycles and other lunches before it gets to this. The timing is a bit off, a bit too fast for Jun’s own comfort. But then, when the plates were cleared and they are sipping their espressos—on Sho’s insistence--the man in front of him, with his pressed suit and his nice midnight blue tie, asks him _the_ question. 

“I hope you’re talking about what I’m thinking you’re talking about,” is Jun’s first reaction after few beats of silence.

Sho flinches a bit but then he lets out a small laugh. “I know it. I know you’re not going to take that easily. I know, I could actually see that coming.”

And then it’s Jun’s turn to laugh. “Sho-san, you are really something. I think you’ve put this question under a lot of consideration—as a lot as two weeks could provide.”

“It wasn’t only the past two weeks.” Sho blinks with question apparent on his face. “And what’s that you’re saying?”

“Okay. Let’s step back and get this straight from the beginning. And this is me, just like you, using my words carefully,” Jun says. “First. I am not going to say that the attraction is not there. I’m honest enough to say that I’m attracted to you.”

Sho makes a grand gesture of sighing heavily and smiling. “Okay. That’s good to know.”

“My turn to speak. You’ve been talking for the past 15 minutes.” Jun says, stopping Sho with a wave of hand. 

Sho nods and lets Jun continue.

“I don’t know how this will turn out. At least I am being honest with you. I’ve never done this with someone I’ve met less than a month. I don’t even know you—well, your ID cards notwithstanding. But together is a tempting offer. And a longer time frame will up the stake pretty good,” Jun says. “I also am not saying that I have my hesitation, few of additional question, and then some others. But yes, I want to try to know you, to try this out, to try this out together.”

Sho’s smile is wide and unbridled. His fingers, ones that have been playing with his cup saucer, now are splayed on the table with ease.

“It’s going to be one hell of a trial though,” Jun adds.

“I know,” Sho says, still beaming. “I can be quite a handful.”

“Ha! You haven’t known me long enough. I redefine the word ‘handful’ and then some.”

“I’d better get myself ready then.” Sho laughs and Jun feels his own smile widen; he could get use to the sound of Sho’s laughter—he’d find himself wanting to cherish and let it out from Sho from time to time.

Jun is the one who set his cup aside. “We’re scaring each other out just fine, right?”

“That we do.” Sho does the same thing. Now there’s nothing between them. The crisp linen tablecloth is the only one on the surface, white and unpretentious. “We’re doing okay so far, aren’t we?”

Jun smiles. “That we do.”

“And—“ Sho says, “I kind of want to seal this with a kiss, but I suppose it’s not actually appropriate if I lean up to you here, and give you a chaste one.”

The smile turns into a laugh, and soon Jun finds him covering his face with his palm. “I cannot believe how casual you bring that up in a open café in the middle of a lunch rush hour.”

Sho shrugs, but with a visible satisfied grin. “Well, one of us needs to say it.”

“Good enough. If we’re going to wait till I say that, you’re probably will snooze in boredom while waiting.”

“I doubt that.”

Sho chooses that moment to move his hand, finding Jun’s hand across the table and cover it with his. Both of them stare at the action. Sho’s bare left hand is covering Jun’s, filled with rings, right; at that moment the touch is so new, so full of promise and warning, so open and loose, so warm yet so unfamiliar. 

“You should. It’s not going to be easy.”

“I’m done with easy stuff. I am trying this with you and I’m going to take anything and deal with everything.”

Jun moves his hand, turning his palm up and holding Sho’s hand in return. A surprise flashes on Sho’s face brings a smile on Jun’s face and they stay still for a full minute. 

“We need to go back to work soon.” Jun loosens his hold on Sho’s hand and Sho pulls his hand back. Unsure of what to do, Jun reaches for his espresso and takes a sip. 

Sho on the other side of the table takes a deep breath and smoothens his tie. “Let me get the check.”

“No. This one is one me, remember?” Jun says. “You treat me last time.”

“Jun.”

“Don’t Jun me. Really. This is your part of trying. I’m paying this time.”

“Okay. Next one is on me then. Fancy dinner it is.”

“And the next one is on me. You’re eating my prided pasta.”

“You cook?’

“Why yes I do.”

Sho actually looks at him with glassy eyes, filled with disbelief and pleasure. “Handful.”

“I’ll try my best.” Jun laughs at that and waves for the waiter.

*


	12. Chapter 12

When the schoolgirl returns her completed form, Officer Matsumoto bows to her and informs her that they will process the form and let her immediately shall they later found her lost bag on the train. 

He was in the middle of wishing the girl a safe trip home when he sees a man rushing through the door in the corner of his eyes. The man is impatiently waiting for the sliding door to open and enters the small office. At the same time, the girl waves a shy goodbye to Officer Matsumoto and turns to leave. 

The man stops in front of Matsumoto counter and scans the small office quickly.

“Good evening.” Matsumoto greets the man, and is finally able to meet a large round eyes with pouty lips. All his training is the only thing that could prevent him from smiling appreciatively. He watches with amusement, the man, huffing his breath, seemed to be in search of something. He ignores Jun’s greeting and tries to see behind him or the counter, of what Matsumoto couldn’t really tell. 

“Good evening, Sir” Matsumoto tries again. “How can I help you?”

The man says, "Could I speak to Officer Ninomiya?"

"Officer Ninomiya san is not here today. How can I help you?"

"I need Ninomiya-san. Could you get him for me? "

"My name is Matsumoto. I could also help you. Have you lost something by any chance?"

"Yes, I kind of have. But… But Ninomiya-san should help me. He should be able to because I can't find—"

"Find?" Jun prompts the man, leaning forward a bit just in case it's something sensitive to be heard in the first place, this guy hasn't been open about his lost property anyway.

"My umbrella", the man leans forward to the counter, providing answer in a near whisper, "my usual red umbrella." 

*

As the spring rolls in, Matsumoto finally breaks first. He slaps the counter with a cool face and a stern expression. “You don’t really have to do all this, you know.”

“Do what?”

“Pretending that you lost an umbrella, a wallet, a dossier you lost during the day. I can definitely see the need isn’t pressing and you’re totally doing this to yourself. Plus I don’t think you can afford to lose an important document, so those reports might be false.” Jun pauses a bit, before feeling the need to apologize. “No offense but you can be arrested if you are pulling a false report. This wouldn’t end well for your.”

“No offense taken. But, I can actually afford it, losing all those fake documents. Ah. Now I am already admitting that I’m faking those documents.”

“You’re joking.”

“I’m not. Truly. I definitely have no intention whatsoever that will cause my own silly arrest. But, but—“ Sho says in nervous stutter. He wants to elaborate, or perhaps to come up with a better explanation but at the end of a very short consideration, he could only comes up with the truth. “I simply want to see you.”

The smile blooming in Matsumoto’s face is slight but it completely replace the cynical smirk from the moment before. “If so, come see me. I’m here most of the time.”

Why most of the time? Sho thinks. Then again, if most of the time is what he’s going to get then he’ll accept it. Still, surprise remains clear on his face when he does a double check. Just to be sure. “Is that okay?” 

“Totally okay. With or without your missing item reports, you are welcome to visit, Sho-san.” A notch of smile, even warmer, or dare Sho says more inviting, blooms in Jun’s face.

Sho blinks and feels a wide grin forming on his face. He’s welcomed. He is. And it wouldn’t hurt just to confirm the invitation. “I am?”

“You are,” Jun nods. “Or if it is a better alternative, you can see me not here.”

“Wait. Is that—?” Sho tries to process the though, the suggestion. Jun couldn’t possibly mean that he’s suggesting an alternative. “—a suggestion?”

Jun rolls his eyes and lets out a chuckle. “For someone who’s looking very sharp, you are quite slow.”

“Slow? What?” Sho still has difficulty to digest the implication. “Does that mean—?”

“Let’s meet somewhere else. Preferably when I’m not in uniform because that would be weird. We can have lunch, or dinner when you are ready to plan that one. Or we can just share some coffee if time doesn’t permit. You know my lunch hour anyway, I’m sure you could come up with something. Or if you want, since I don’t mind at all, fancy dinner is definitely most welcomed. And that’s me being straightforward.”

“Oh,” is the only thing that came out of Sho’s lips. 

Jun begins to feel unease by how this ended. “Or if I’m getting the wrong signal, then feel free to erase the previous long statement out of your memory, because you can go now. I would like some time to dig the hole before I jump into it in shame and never come out of it.”

Sho slowly leans into the counter and whispers his next words. “Matsumoto Jun, I would love to have lunch, dinner, coffee, or anything at all you wanted to share with me. I was out of words since you’re brilliantly putting everything that has been revolving in my head in the past month. Thank you ending my misery and please don’t make me go right now because I still need to get your schedule, since I’m going to do a thorough plan of our next lunch, dinner and coffee.”

Jun grins with relief at that. “I do need to remind you that it’s broad daylight and I’m in the middle on my shift. Yet here I am flirting with a salary man into taking me out to lunch. If my boss caught wind of this, I’m so going to be demoted, possibly to traffic. So we need to school our face, and you go first because I still need some time to compose myself.”

*

Mid September, Officer Matsumoto silently stares him with apparent amusement. 

Sho knows that he shouldn’t hope much but rejection still burns a hole in his heart. He shifts in his stance awkwardly as he tries to explain his spontaneous invitation.

“So, I don’t do lunch with someone I barely know,” Sho continues. What’s the harm, he has told himself. He’s definitely attracted, and he’s probably going to keep asking until Officer Matsumoto relents. But then again, success at first try is going to be exhilarating and Sho wants to find out, how far this attraction between them would take them. “I truly don’t usually do this. Yet here I am asking you.”

“You’re not a stranger,” Officer Matsumoto says with frown on his face and his finger tapping rhythmically on the desk. “I do know your ID number, both home and office address, the amount of money you have in your wallet. With one phone call, I can even find out the name of your boss, your mother’s.”

“You guys are scary,” Sho says with unhidden pride, eyes shining with quick light. He knows he has to make his final pitch. “So, please?”

Officer Matsumoto lets out a sigh. “Fine. If I do, you’d stop with all the pretence, right? 

When?”

Sho’s face lights up brilliantly. “How about Wednesday?”

“You’re asking me for lunch on midweek?”

“What? That’s no good?” Sho still cannot contain his happiness. “I practically can do anytime of the week. You name the day then. I’m fine with any day.”

“Wednesday is fine, actually. I was just asking, or more like confirming that you’re asking me for lunch on midday. That’s all.”

“You didn’t sound like you’re confirming. More like you’re trying to say no for it,” Sho says seeing Officer Matsumoto still in his serious frown, one that Sho begins to suspect as his usual feature instead of sign of annoyance.

“I already said I’d go to lunch with you. And Wednesday sounds good now. I don't think I have anything scheduled on that day.”

“It’s settled then. Next week. Wednesday. I’d text you the address if I could have your phone number,” Sho says, knowing that this time he’s laying it a little bit too thick.

Officer Matsumoto lets out a snort. “And that was lame.”

“Well,” Sho says, shrugging but still smiling anyway. “If you don’t want to tell me your number, you can probably wait for my letter to come with the traditional mail. It’d take days, but I’ll start scribbling tonight.”

“You are annoyingly making sense.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot.”

Officer Matsumoto takes step back from the counter, eyes still straight 

“Oh. It’s Jun. Nice to finally meet you, Officer Matsumoto Jun.”

“You’ve been meeting me since forever.”

“I was being metaphorically correct.”

“I don’t even want to know what that means.” Officer Matsumoto shifts behind the counter. This conversation has taken almost 15 minutes of his break time. “Now if you’re done, I still have work to do. I believe you do to, so don't you think it’s time for us to, say, get back to work?”

“Right,” Sho says with a deep sigh before breaking into a grin. “I am just so glad you said yes, Officer.”

Officer Matsumoto does not seem affected by Sho’s silliness but he flashes a soft smile reluctantly. “Just let me know when you have decided.”

“I’d shake your hand, or even give you a loose hug, if it wasn’t in the middle of your shift. 

Jun only sighs. “Are you done now?”

“Almost.”

“Good. Finish it and get the hell out of here before I call security.”

“You are the security.”

“Stop it, will you.”

“Okay,” Sho says but he doesn’t hide the satisfied grin on his face. “We are going to have dates. I’m so happy.”

“Get out now. Please,” Jun says, “or I might reach out and try to hold your hand.”

Sho beams in delight. 

Jun lets himself laughing at that, and then school his face once again. “That’s enough. I spy some old lady trying to get a queue ticket. You better go now. I’ll see you later?”

“Yes. I need to get back to the office and spend the whole afternoon daydreaming about our next date. Our next date! I couldn't believe I got to say that.”

“Go now. Really.”

“I’m going,” Sho says. “I’ll see you later.”

Jun rolls his eyes seeing Sho waving one last time and walking out from the station with an apparent lighter stride, springs on his steps

*

“Now, could you tell me something? What’s with the umbrella, really?”

They are seated in a comfortable fancy café Jun has chosen. Sho agreed to the detour because they are still few hours early for the dinner reservation. And Jun needs his afternoon caffeine boost.

“Nothing much,” Sho says with an easy shrug. “It’s just I need it with me all the time so I can actually stir this wave of—ah it’s better for me if I didn’t say it. I already received complaint from my superior once when I talk too much to human, and I always talk too much. I am just going to shut up right now.”

Jun frowns at the lengthy rambling but he’s staying for a while. There’s something that pulls him from this man. He intends to find out. “You are funny. Weird, but funny.”

“Why thank you.” Sho has his way to smile shyly and it’s doing things to Jun. “It is a little bit embarrassing though.”

“Well, it will still be embarrassing. I think you’ve been delaying this for quiet sometime now. What’s with it really?”

“It’s actually something magical.” Sho face falls when he sees Jun is frowning and skeptical. “And that face of yours is exactly the reason why I am not telling you this earlier.”

“Okay. That wasn’t fair,” Jun says. “Sorry for that. I promise to school my face.”

Sho frowns back at Jun in disbelief. “I don’t know why I fell into this trap, really.”

“Go on. I won’t laugh, promise.”

“So, it’s a present actually. From my mother.”

Jun nods; it sounds pretty normal actually.

“And that’s as normal as it gets at this point,” Sho says, as if reading Jun’s mind. “This is the part where it gets weird.”

Jun nods again. 

“I refused to believe about it in the beginning, but since the first day, that umbrella has been something important for me. I wasn’t ecstatic when I received it. I mean, what would a grown man need an umbrella for? And it’s definitely not comfortable to cling into one’s umbrella for the whole day. I began to leave it at home when the forecast was sunny for the day.

“I kept leaving it at home but then again sometimes my mother called me, she always asks about the umbrella. ‘Where’s your umbrella? Have you’ve been using the umbrella. It’s such a good umbrella. I don’t think there’s going to be a better umbrella than that umbrella.”

Sho sighs. “At some point, I even snapped at the mention of the word umbrella.”

Jun couldn’t suppress his amusement, his smile widen.

“See, this is really embarrassing,” Sho says, palming his flushed face.

“It’s actually kind of sweet. Do keep going. And then what happened?”

“There was a simple story she used to read to me when I was a kid. It’s about a small girl and her umbrella. I didn’t realize at that time that it was a story about umbrella per se, but with my mother keeps on asking the umbrella, that story comes back to mind.

“And then one day—” Sho pauses a bit, looking straight through Jun’s eyes and trying to find laughter, not finding any and then continuing with his story. “You need to promise you won’t laugh.”

“I am laughing. I kind of feel like this was going to be a silly story, sweet but silly. I’m fine. Do go on.”

“I don’t even know why I’m telling this, but what the heck,” Sho says and on Jun’s nudging he continues his story. “And then one day, someone on the street, an old lady, asked me about my umbrella. She was a nice lady, although a bit weird with her cape and all. I answered her that I don’t have an umbrella with me. She frowned at my answer and then began to throw advice to me like there’s no tomorrow.

“She was saying, young man, you should have that umbrella with you at all time. Your mother gave it to you, didn’t she? I was surprised and I asked her how she knew that. She said that’s not important. What’s important was that I have the umbrella with me as often as possible. Even if the forecast says it’s going to be a sunny day, I still need to have it around me. She said I would never know when I’m going to need it. 

“Call me weird or superstitious, but since that day, I always make sure that I have the umbrella with me. Unfortunately, as you know, the umbrella is a long one. I couldn’t fold it and shove it to my bag. I always need to carry them around. Soon, everyone calls me by the nickname of red umbrella guy.”

“That’s actually quite cute.” Jun smiles. “I might start call you a red umbrella guy then.”

“See, not funny, Jun. I know this will turn back on me,” Sho says with a pout. “I am tempted on not finishing this silly story.”

“Oh, but you’re about to get to the best part, aren’t you?”

“Well, as a matter a fact, I am.” Sho rolls his eyes and then continues. “And then I met Ninomiya-san.”

“At the desk counter, I presume.”

“See, this is the time when I’m doing the story,” Sho reminds him. “You’re not allowed to join in.”

“Such a grumpy red umbrella guy.”

“Anyway, since I keep on forgetting this umbrella on the train, on the park, on places around Shinjuku, on the restaurant I most frequent, I kind of meet Ninomiya-san quite often. I am not actually a forgetful person. I am organized to the dot, to the level of scary organized but the umbrella is beyond me.

“And he helps me a lot. With his ways. You know how he is, right?”

“I do. I guess he’s been giving you quite a trouble.”

“Well, it was a good kind of trouble. He scolded me every single time I came to the counter to ask for a lost umbrella. I become familiar with the process of claiming a lost item. It became a routine, something that I wasn’t expecting. At the end of day, or perhaps once a week I always forgetting the umbrella, somewhere near. 

“I was tempted to get a thorough examination at a shrink. I am sure that it was an unconscious habit, something that I didn’t want to have but I keep on repeating. The question still lingers on till now: am I crazy.”

Jun laughs, seeing Sho’s worried face as he is retelling his cute and sweet story about the red umbrella and then all the weird uncertainty. “Oh, you’re really something.”

“I’m done with the silly story, now you can laugh all you want. I just want to go home and hide for a while.”

“Please. I think you’re having fun with the story, and it’s a nice story of the red umbrella guy.”

“See? You should blame yourself later when I don’t share my stories anymore. I’m getting nothing but laughter.”

“A good laughter. Don’t worry, that much I know. It’s a silly story, I agree, but it’s also sweet. Let’s stop at that.”

Sho rolls his eyes. “I don't know why I told you the story. I knew it’s going to be like this.”

“Well, now you told me your story and perhaps one fine day later, I’d tell you the story of my red umbrella guy.”

Sho puts on a very shocked expression. “What? You have another red umbrella guy?”

“You’re my one and only red umbrella guy, silly.”

“I am?” Sho looks relieved, with such a cute expression. “Oh, yes, I am.”

“You sure are,” Jun says. “Now what should we get another slice of cake. I heard they also have blueberry cheesecake?”

*


End file.
